וַיָּ֥שָׁב אֶל־אֶחָ֖יו וַיֹּאמַ֑ר הַיֶּ֣לֶד אֵינֶ֔נּוּ וַאֲנִ֖י אָ֥נָה אֲנִי־בָֽא׃
And he returned unto his brethren, and said: ‘The child is not; and as for me, whither shall I go?’
Read kabbalistic (mystical) interpretation of Genesis 37:30: and classical mystical sources.