עָ֘נִ֤י אֲנִ֣י וְגֹוֵ֣עַ מִנֹּ֑עַר נָשָׂ֖אתִי אֵמֶ֣יךָ אָפֽוּנָה׃
I am afflicted and at the point of death from my youth up; I have borne Thy terrors, I am distracted.
Read kabbalistic (mystical) interpretation of Psalms 88:16: and classical mystical sources.