וְהֵסִ֩ירָה֩ אֶת־שִׂמְלַ֨ת שִׁבְיָ֜הּ מֵעָלֶ֗יהָ וְיָֽשְׁבָה֙ בְּבֵיתֶ֔ךָ וּבָֽכְתָ֛ה אֶת־אָבִ֥יהָ וְאֶת־אִמָּ֖הּ יֶ֣רַח יָמִ֑ים וְאַ֨חַר כֵּ֜ן תָּב֤וֹא אֵלֶ֙יהָ֙ וּבְעַלְתָּ֔הּ וְהָיְתָ֥ה לְךָ֖ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃
и она снимет с себя одежду пленения ее и останется в доме твоем, и оплакивает отца и мать весь месяц; и после этого ты можешь войти к ней и стать ее мужем, а она будет твоей женой.
Yesod Mora VeSod HaTorah
And there are passages that resemble commandments, but none of them are obligatory commandments, such as the case of a woman of beautiful appearance. The scripture does not permit taking her as a wife until certain conditions are met. Do not be puzzled by the verse in Deuteronomy 21:11 that states, "And you desire her and take her to yourself as a wife," for the meaning is similar to Pharaoh's thought in Genesis 12:19, "And take her for me as a wife," according to his own thoughts. The same applies to Balak in Numbers 21:1, "And he fought against Israel." The conclusive proof is found in Deuteronomy 21:13, which states, "And afterward, you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife." The conditions are that he brings her into his home, does not leave her in another domain, shaves her head, and lets her nails grow, similar to the case of a leper. There is no need to mention that she must undergo ritual purification with the waters of menstruation, as it is written elsewhere in Numbers 31:19, "You and your captives." In Deuteronomy 21:13, it is stated, "And she shall remove the clothing of her captivity from upon her," which she used in idolatrous worship, as it is written in Genesis 35:2, "And change your garments." In Deuteronomy 21:13, it is also stated, "And she shall weep for her father and her mother," whether they are alive or deceased. All these conditions may cause the man to reconsider and not take her as a wife. The one who takes an Israelite woman as a wife should not impose these conditions on her, for they are more stringent than the desire he has for her. The entire passage does not contain obligatory commandments except for Deuteronomy 21:14, "You shall not sell her." Similarly, in the blessings (Birkat HaMitzvot), we are obligated to bless obligatory commandments.
Dirshuni I
And who cannot ask, that is a war captive, the eshet yefat to’ar, the woman of beautiful appearance.
Only silent crying is heard, as it says “and she shall cry over her father and her mother” (Deuteronomy 21:13).
We will open for her. We will be for her a mouth and she will be for us a judge. We will restore her to the house of her mother and the chamber of her upbringing, and we will call “freedom in the land for all who dwell in it.” (Leviticus 25:10)
Only silent crying is heard, as it says “and she shall cry over her father and her mother” (Deuteronomy 21:13).
We will open for her. We will be for her a mouth and she will be for us a judge. We will restore her to the house of her mother and the chamber of her upbringing, and we will call “freedom in the land for all who dwell in it.” (Leviticus 25:10)