Мусар к Мишлей 27:5

Surely, one should not view a Torah scholar as small in his eyes because he provides for his needs, G-d forbid, nor should he give himself credit for sustaining and supporting him, for [the torah scholar’s] portion rests among [the benefactor’s] assets, as is said on the verse (Exodus 22:24): “to the poor among your people”: it is [merely] the mission of the Merciful one that he is doing. And not only this, but what the poor person does for the rich benefactor is greater than what the benefactor does for the poor person, for it is a merit for him [the rich person] in the world where all is good, as our Sages of blessed memory say (Ruth Rabbah 5:9, Vayikra Rabbah 34:8) on the verse (Ruth 2:19): “the man with whom I did [kindness] today was Boaz” [that is, Ruth said she did kindness to Boaz despite him giving her food], therefore one should be very careful about [the recipient’s] honor. And also the Torah scholars must be careful with the honor of their rich brethren who benefit and support them. For if it is said (Eruvin 86a) that Rabbi [Yehuda] and Rabbi Akiva honored the wealthy even though were not dependent on them, how much more so is one who needs them and benefits from them obligated to not be ungrateful, to show them some respect, and to exert himself somewhat on their behalf to give them satisfaction. Extra affection should be shown to them, and [the scholar] should teach them “the proper way to go and the deeds they should perform” (Exodus 18:20). With pleasant conversation and sweet language, “open rebuke is better than love” (Proverbs 27:5). And he should share in their distress and grieve with them and pray for them, and he should always pray for them so that they will succeed in all they undertake. And in all their Torah study and good deeds, they [the scholars] should have them [their supporters] in mind as well. Regarding this and similar matters, “the wise man shall hear and increase learning”(Proverbs 1:5), and he shall do so that he may find favor and good understanding in the eyes of G-d and man.

The Torah next exhorts us not to bottle up our hatred against a fellow jew in our heart (19,17), but to tell him openly if we wish to criticize his conduct, i.e. הוכח תוכיח. Proverbs 27,5 provides the rationale, namely that a rebuke reveals loving concern for the person so rebuked. This is a virtue as explained by Rashi on Genesis 37,4 that Joseph's brothers, rather than concealing their dislike of Joseph and flattering him, spoke out about it. One must not contrast this with the statement of our sages who condemned Naval for saying what was in his heart. They even changed the reading of the name of his ancestor from נבל to כלבו so as to emphasize that every evil thing in his heart he expressed with his lips (Samuel 25, Jerusalem Talmud Sanhedrin 2,3). His was a special case; he should not have spoken at all instead of using his power of speech only to denigrate others. Joseph's brothers, on the other hand, had to maintain relations with him. Rather than pretend to like him they chose to say what was on their minds.