הלכה אויף שמות 21:10

The Rambam (Hilchot Ishut 12:1-4) presents ten obligations Halachah demands from a husband, three of which are of biblical origin and seven of which are rabbinic enactments. The three Torah obligations are to provide food, clothes, and intimate relations for his wife (see Shemot 21:10 and Rashi ad. loc.). The seven rabbinic obligations are paying her ketubah money in case of death or divorce, paying her medical bills if she is sick, redeeming her if she is taken captive (a phenomenon not unheard of in the time of the Gemara and in certain countries even today), burying her if she dies, supporting her from his estate and allowing her to live in his house if he predeceases her,²She does not, though, inherit him. For ways of allowing a wife to inherit, see our later section about setting up halachically valid wills. supporting their daughters from his estate until they marry, and allowing the male children from their marriage to inherit her ketubah (ketubat banin dichrin). Halachah entitles a man to four items from his wife: her earnings (ma’aseih yadayim), whatever lost items she finds (metzi’ah), the income generated by the property that she brings into the marriage during her lifetime (nichsei melog), and the priority to inherit her if she predeceases him.

It is forbidden for a man to withhold conjugal duties from his wife. If he did so with the intent of causing her pain he has transgressed the prohibition of "Do not reduce her conjugal obligation" (Ex. 21:10) . If he is ill or weakened and he is unable to have intercourse, he waits six months until he becomes healthy, for this is longest period of conjugal duties. After that period he must either get her permission or divorce her and pay the Ketubah.

A man who rebels against his wife and says, "I will feed and support her, but will not have sexual relations with her because I hate her," we add the value of 36 barleycorns of silver to her ketuba (marriage contract) each week, and he remains without relations as long as she is willing to wait. Even though her ketuba amount continues to grow, he is still transgressing a negative commandment, as it says, "...he shall not withhold" (Exodus 21:10). If she so desires, court can force him to divorce her immediately and to give her the ketuba money. Note: Some authorities say that if he wants to divorce her immediately and give her ketuba, we do not add on to the ketuba (so it appears in Rambam Hilchot Ishut chapter 14). It seems to me that in such a case he also does not transgress the negative commandment of "...he shall not withhold" (Exodus 21:10).