Musar zu Joel 2:12

The fourth principle is pain in [his] actions, as it is stated (Joel 2:12), "'Yet even now' - says the Lord - 'Turn back to Me with all your hearts, and with fasting, weeping, and lamenting." And they, may their memory be blessed, said (Yerushalmi Berakhot 1:4), "The heart and the eyes are the two intermediaries of sin." And so is it written (Numbers 15:39), "and you shall not go astray after your hearts and after your eyes." Hence with this will the sin of the intermediaries be atoned - with the measure of repentance according to the measure of the affliction. For the iniquity of the heart is atoned by its bitterness and sighing - with the brokenness with which it is broken, as it is stated (Isaiah 57:16), "when spirits in front of Me cover themselves." And it is [also] written (Psalms 51:19), "God, You will not despise a contrite and crushed heart." And the parable about this is from the [impure] vessels - when they are broken, they are purified, as it is stated (Leviticus 11:35), "an oven or stove shall be smashed." And the iniquity of the eyes is atoned by tears, as it is stated (Psalms 119:136), "My eyes shed streams of water, because they do not obey Your Torah ." It does not state, "because I do not obey Your Torah," but rather states, "they do not obey"; since they were what caused the sin - therefore, I shed streams of waters.

And likewise should he put fasts, tears and abstaining himself from delights in the place of afflictions - as it is stated (Psalms 109:24), “My knees give way from fasting; my flesh is lean, has lost its fat.” And it is stated (Joel 2:12), “Turn back to Me with all your hearts, and with fasting, weeping, and lamenting.” And he should always sigh from the bitterness of his heart, as we mentioned in the first Gate about repentance. And he will place the abundance of bitterness in the place of afflictions, as it is stated (Proverbs 18:14), “A man’s spirit can sustain (yekhalkel) him through illness; but low spirits - who can bear them?” The explanation is that when the body becomes sick, the soul will sustain it [during ] its sickness - from the usage (in Malachi 3:2),“But who can bear (mekhalkel) the day of his coming?” [Here] it means to say - help the body and sustain it by speaking to its heart and comforting it to accept [difficulties] and to carry [them]. But when the soul is sick and low from grief and worry, who will console the soul, and who will hold it up and sustain it? Behold, worry and bitterness of the heart are heavier than sickness of the body - for the soul sustains the body in its sickness; whereas when the soul is sick and low from its grief, the body will not sustain it.
So if you find the sinner suffering, [with] troubles happening to him, justifying his judgement and accepting the rebuke with love - this will be a shield for him from the many afflictions that would be fit to come upon him. [It is] as it is stated (Psalms 76:11), “The rage of men shall acknowledge You, when You gird on the remnant of fury.” Its explanation is, when the pain of a man acknowledges You - meaning that a man acknowledges You at the time of his pain. It is from the usage (Job 6:2), “If my anger were surely weighed” - the meaning [of anger, like rage in Psalms 76:11,] is pain. “The remnant of fury” that had been opened to come upon the man - like the content of (I Kings 20:11), “Let not him who girds on his sword boast like him who opens it!” - gird and hold them back and do not bring them upon him. And this is by way of a comparison to one who opens his sword, but [then] returns it to its sheath. And it is stated (Isaiah 12:1), “Although You were wroth with me, Your wrath has turned back and You comfort me.” And likewise about the matter of acknowledgement for the good, it is stated (Psalms 52:11), “I praise You forever, for You have acted; I will hope in Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your faithful ones.” Its explanation is - I will praise You for the good that You have done with me; and because of this, I will hope for the constancy of Your goodness. And it is stated (Psalms 116:13), “I will raise the cup of slavations and call out in the name of the Lord”; (Psalms 116:3-4) “I came upon trouble and sorrow. And I invoked the name of the Lord.”
And our Rabbis, may their memory be blessed, said (Midrash Tehillim 79) about the matter of that which is written (Psalms 3:1), “A song of David, when he fled,” “‘Justice done is a joy to the righteous’ (Proverbs 21:15) - the trait of the righteous is to pay their debts and to sing to the Holy One, blessed be He. [There is a relevant] parable about a housholder that had a sharecropper, and that sharecropper was in debt to him. That sharecropper [then] made a threshing floor [from his produce], gathered it together and made a pile. The householder came and took the pile, and the sharecropper entered his house empty-handed. But he was happy that he entered empty-handed. They said to him, ‘You left your threshing floor with your hands on your head (empty), and you are happy?’ He said to them, ‘Even so, the bill is [now] cancelled; I have paid my debt.’”

The fourth principle in repentance is the sorrow and the pain caused by the actual doing of the deeds of repentance. Thus far we have spoken about the pain and sorrow of the heart, but this concerns the pain and the sorrow of the repentant act itself, as it is said, "Yet even now, saith the Lord, turn ye unto Me with all your heart, and with fasting and with weeping, and with lamentation" (Joel 2:12). And a man must show the signs of pain and sorrow in his garments, for example, to put on sackcloth, as it is said, "For this gird you with sackcloth, lament and wail" (Jer. 4:8). And as it is said, "But let them be covered with sackcloth, both man and beast" (Jonah 3:8). And he must remove his lovely garments from him and he must reduce his pleasures, in the kinds of food he eats and in his drink and in strolling about. And our Sages said, "The heart and the eyes are the two agents of sin" (T.P. Berakoth 1:8). And thus is it written, "And that ye go not about after your own heart and your own eyes" (Num. 15:39). Therefore only in this way can the sin brought about by these agents be atoned for : the sin of the agent of the heart, by bitterness and pain, and the wrong of the agent of the eyes, by tears. As it is said, "Mine eyes run down with rivers of water, because they observe not Thy law" (Ps. 119:136). It is not said, "because I observe not," but "because they observe not." The plural form refers to the eyes, that spied out to explore sin, therefore have I caused rivers of water to descend from my eyes. When he weeps over his sins, he should say, "May my tears quench the wrath of your anger and may my repentant deeds turn away your anger from me, and let my table, which I have not set because of my sorrow, be considered as an altar arranged for sacrifice, and the pot which I did not place upon the coals, as fire burning upon Thy altar. And may the lack of my blood, the diminution resulting from fasting, atone as the blood which is offered on the corners of the altar. And may the lessening of my fat be as the fat which is offered from the sacrifices, and the sound of my weeping as the psalms of the poets, and the aroma of my soul's hunger as the aroma of the incense, and the weakness of my limbs as the cutting of portions for the sacrifice, and may my broken heart tear the books in which my sins are recorded. And may the change of my good garments for garments of mourning be as acceptable to you as are the garments of the priesthood, and my restraint from washing (because of my sorow)as though I had sanctified my hands and feet, and may my repentance restore me to Thee, for I am truly remorseful for the evil of my deeds that I did and I shall not return to do evil before Thee.