Musar zu Mischlej 13:20

The modest person has charm, as it is said: "And He gives grace to the humble" (Prov. 3:34). The prayer of the modest person is received before the Holy One, Blessed be He, for he, the modest person, is always generous and waives his claims against others. And it is because of this that the prayer of Rabbi Akiba was received when he began, "Our Father, our King" as is commented upon in Ta'anith 25b. The modest man merits increasing wisdom, for he is humble in the presence of the wise and sits at their feet, as it is said: "He that walks with wise men shall be wise" (Prov. 13:20). Heaven has mercy upon the humble person, as it is said: "He who confesses his wrongs and forsakes them shall obtain mercy" (Prov. 28:13).

The third detrimental factor is [evil] company, namely, the company of fools and sinners. This is what scriptures says: "he who befriends the fools will be broken" (Prov.13:20). We can see many times, even after the truth of a man's duty for divine service and watchfulness of it has been established by him, he becomes lax in it or transgresses certain commandments so that his friends do not mock him or in order to be able to mingle freely in their company.

And the wise man said to his son, "If it should occur to you to make friends or companions, then make friends with a wise person as it is written: 'He that walks with the wise shall be wise' (Prov. 13:20). And it is said: 'Give knowledge to a wise man and he will be yet wiser' (Prov. 9:9). And so if you wish to grow in wisdom be a companion to the wise, for if you do act wisely your wise friend will praise you and not question your wisdom, and then you will know that you can rely on your wisdom. If they honor him, he will honor you; if they praise him, he will praise you. If you need his help, he will help you, and in the things you say he will declare you to be in the right. If you grow angry he will have patience with you, and you will learn from his good deeds. And be a companion to every person from whom you can learn things that will bring you to the Service of God, Blessed may He be!" And the Sages said, "If you wish to become a friend of a man get him angry with you and if he will still admit and confess the truth of what you say even in his wrath then become his companion and friend. If not, leave him. But, when you choose a friend, choose one who knows his own worth, for if he does not know himself his wisdom is of no good. Acquire a friend who will rebuke you when you do something that is not proper and who will teach you to do the good, and who will help you with his might and money — and such a friend will be faithful. But a friend who flatters you and smooths over your mistakes and errors and comforts you when you have done evil things — separate yourself from such a one.

Behold, Shlomo repeatedly exhorted many times on this in seeing the evil of laziness and the greatness of the harm resulting from it. He said "a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest. Then shall your poverty come as a traveler" (Mishlei 24:33). For behold, even though the lazy person is not doing evil actively, nevertheless he brings evil on himself through his very inactivity.

"it was all grown over with thorns" - refers to one who seeks the interpretation of a portion of the Torah and does not find it.

The seventeenth thing to remember is that it is a very good quality to keep away from people when he can save himself from them, and sit in his room alone. For most transgressions are committed by two or more — for example, fornication, gossip, lies and flattery — and from all of these he who sits alone is saved for he will not vaunt himself over any man and he will not hear their idle talk. For when he stays with them he is obliged to rebuke them in three ways : either by striking the offender, as Phinehas did when he took the javelin in his hand (Num. 25:7); or with words, as Moses our Teacher did, when he said to the wicked man, "Wherefore smitest thou thy fellow?" (Ex. 2:13); or in one's heart, as David said, "I hate the gathering of evil-doers, and will not sit with the wicked" (Ps. 26:5). And who can constantly keep quarreling with such people, inasmuch as they constantly transgress? But when you sit alone you avoid all this guilt and you are saved from many transgressions. But pious people one should join and one should sit near them and learn from them, as it is written, "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise" (Prov. 13:20).

It is in the nature of man to be influenced in his ideas and his deeds by his friends and his companions, and he usually conducts himself as the people of his country do, and what they do, he does also. Therefore a man ought to associate with righeous men and always sit among the wise so that he may learn from their deeds, and he should separate himself from the wicked, who walk in the darkness, so that he will not learn from their deeds. This is what King Solomon says, "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but the companion of fools shall smart for it" (Prov. 13:20). And he says, "Happy is the man that hath not walked in the counsel of the wicked" (Ps. 1:1).

And of these twenty-four things that impede repentance, five of them are such that he who does them is constantly drawn after them and finds it very difficult to separate himself from them. Therefore, a man must be very careful of these, lest he cleave to them, and they are all very evil states of mind. And these are : tale-bearing, gossip, wrath, evil thoughts, and associating with a wicked man, for he will surely learn from his deeds. For when one is always with the wicked and sees these deeds they become impressed in his heart, as Solomon said, "But the companion of fools shall smart for it" (Prov. 12:20).