Commentary for Ecclesiastes 7:3

Better vexation than levity. If one is pursued by the [Divine] standard of justice, he should not be depressed.¹⁰Alternatively, “better vexation stemming from levity,” i.e., when a situation calls for vexation [e.g., a teacher with his student], it should be only an appearance on the outside of anger, but not an emotional, true feeling, of anger. In the words of the Mesilas Yeshorim [Chapter 11] “any anger shown should be anger of the face and not anger of the heart.” It would have been better for the generation of the flood if the Holy One, Blessed Is He, had showed them an angry countenance because of their sins, rather than the laughter that He laughed with them, for had He shown them a slight expression of displeasure, they would have returned to [do] good.¹¹See Maseches Shabbos 30b. It would have been better for Adoniyahu had his father caused him grief for every sin that he committed, rather than the laughter that he showed him, and for which he was ultimately killed.

“Anger is better than laughter, as with a cross countenance the heart will be bettered” (Ecclesiastes 7:3).
“Anger is better than laughter.” Solomon said: Had [my] father been a little angry at Adoniya, it would have been better for him than the laughter with which the attribute of justice mocked him. Why? It is because “with a cross countenance the heart will be bettered.” Had he shown him a cross countenance, he would have caused him to better his ways. Instead, “his father had never aggrieved him” (I Kings 1:6).³⁸Ultimately, this lead to Adoniya’s attempt to sieze power, and his eventual death. See I Kings chapters 1–2. Likewise regarding Amnon, had David his father been a little angry with him, it would have been better for him than the laughter which which the attribute of justice mocked him. Why? It is because “with a cross countenance the heart will be bettered.” Instead, “Amnon alone is dead” (II Samuel 13:32).
Another matter, “anger is better than laughter” – had the Holy One blessed be He been angry at the generation of the Flood, it would have been better than the laughter with which the attribute of justice mocked them, as it is stated: “Their offspring are established before them” (Job 21:8).³⁹Had the Holy One blessed be He shown them anger, they would have improved their ways, and died in peace with their offspring surrounding them. Another matter, “anger is better than laughter” – had the Holy One blessed be He been angry at the Sodomites, it would have been better than the laughter with which the attribute of justice mocked them, as it is stated: “Their houses are safe, without fear” (Job 21:9).⁴⁰That would have been their plight.

Vexation is better than revelry: Medical men have already indicated that man possesses three souls. One is the vegetative soul; that is to say, just as in the vegetative kingdom (as in grass, plants, and trees) there is a power we call soul, responsible for growth and reproduction, so man possesses a similar power. This soul grows in strength for a specified time. Its main attribute is corporeal desire and it requires the intake of food for its realization. The second soul is the animal soul. It uses the faculties of the five senses and is responsible for the power of motion, moving animal and man from place to place. The third soul, which only man possesses, is referred to as neshamah. This is the faculty of reason that distinguishes between truth and falsehood. The second soul is midway between the other two souls.