Halakhah sobre Proverbios 1:8

“Bnei Byshan” had a practice not to travel from Tyre to Sidon on Friday (to avoid detracting from their preparations for Shabbat - Rashi). Their children posed the following question to Rabi Yochanan: “Our fathers were able to abide by this stringent practice because they were wealthy. We, however, find it economically cumbersome to abide by this stringency. Are we obligated to maintain their practice?” Rabi Yochanan answered, “Your ancestors accepted it upon themselves [and you must follow your fathers’ custom], as the pasuk states, “Listen, my son, to the teachings of your father, and do not abandon the Torah of your mother” (Mishlei 1:8).

As we have learned, one must maintain her ancestral custom. The Sages based this statement on the verse, “Al titosh torat imekha” (“Do not abandon your mother’s teachings”; Mishlei 1:8). However, custom is not more important than other laws, and therefore it is occasionally superseded. For example, if one knows for certain that she will have less kavana praying in a synagogue that conducts services in her ancestral nusaḥ than in a synagogue where services are conducted in a different nusaḥ, she should choose the place more conducive to kavana, for this is the essence of prayer (Peninei Halakha: Prayer, ch. 6 n. 2). However, in a case of uncertainty, she should preferably pray in her ancestral nusaḥ, because in the long term it seems that she will have more kavana praying in this way. Sometimes young people do not properly value their connections to ancestral nusaḥ but discover deep attachment to it over time and regret having changed it.

The virtue of woman also finds expression in the holy language of Hebrew. Many universal ideas are expressed in the feminine form: ḥadashot (news), nifla’ot (wonders), netzurot (secrets), and nisgavot (sublime ideas). Also, emuna (faith), Torah, mitzva (commandment), tefila (prayer), segula (uniqueness), Yahadut (Judaism), kehuna (priesthood), and melukha (royalty), are in the feminine form. As noted, this is because the feminine nature is closer to divinity (Siḥot Ha-Ritzya, Bereishit p. 77).²Perhaps, therefore, when discussing the principle of Jewish tradition, it is said (Mishlei 1:8), “Do not forsake the Torah of your mother,” for the primary building block of education is the construction of the natural universal connection with God and his Torah, a quality more prominent in women. In contrast, the father’s guidance centers on detailed and prescriptive guidelines, and since sometimes it is difficult for one to completely identify with those limiting and restricting teachings, it comes with an aspect of reproof – “Listen, my son, to the rebuke of your father” (ibid.).