Halakhah sobre Proverbios 30:20

Further, I will ask you, my brother, about the wiles of the evil inclination (for [my asking you this] is not in the category of lashon hara). Look into yourself: If it were known to you of a certainty that one publicized about you that you were not wise (and the like in the area of negation of eminence), how resentful you would be of him for this! You would think: "What signs of folly did he see in me? He is nothing other than an evil-hearted person and a speaker of lashon hara, whose desire is only to demean his friend and to degrade him!" And yet, when you yourself do this to your friend, who in many things is much better than you to the L–rd and to people, you do not see this as a sin at all! See the great blindness in this! And, in truth, when you reflect upon this, you will find in this instance of the varieties of the issur of lashon hara many more [elements] than in the others. This is so because in other instances of his saying about his friend that he transgressed an issur both in the area of "between man and his Maker" or in the area of "between man and his neighbor," it very often happens that his sole intent is zeal for the L–rd. And though this is of no avail for the din [it still being considered lashon hara (viz. Principle IV, section 2, and also section 1), still his intent was not for evil; as opposed to this instance, where his sole intent was to demean his friend and degrade him, an egregiously bad trait, as explained in the Sha'arei Teshuvah of Rabbeinu Yonah. And also, in terms of the hearer. For in the other aforementioned instances of lashon hara, his [the speaker's] words are not immediately accepted. And, of a certainty, many listeners will say: "So long as we do not see it with our own eyes, we will not believe it. And certainly, in what you have said, even if it is true, there must have been some mitigating circumstances which led him to act in this manner, for, as it was told, we cannot believe such things of him." And if it develops afterwards that what he said is false, the speaker will be an object of scorn and shame to all, for having spread a false report of his friend. But in this instance, if he degrades his friend and publicizes him as a fool and a simpleton to all, as a result of which all the townspeople will make him an object of shame and scorn, it often happens, in our many sins, that not one of the hearers will say: "Speak less and pity the honor of Israel. Why do you have to shame him so much!" — as if the speaker had done no wrong thereby. And of such a speaker it is said (Mishlei 30:20): "She ate and wiped her mouth and said: 'I have done no wrong.'"

The root of this commandment is revealed to all that see the sun: that it is a great benefit within the nation that we have a mechanism to remove suspicion about our wives from our hearts and to truly know if she was unfaithful from her husband, which is impossible for any nation or country to have [something] like this among them. And about them, it is stated (Proverbs 30:20), "she eats, wipes her mouth, and says, 'I have done no wrong.'” As who will reveal 'about their daughters if they have been unfaithful, and about their daughters-in-law if they have been adulterous.' But our nation is sanctified with every matter of sanctification, and [so] God gave us a sign to know this matter which is hidden from the rest of the nations. And through this, love and peace between a man and his wife will be augmented and our seed will be holy. And [for] what [reason] should I write at more length about the details of these matters, as all of it is revealed to the heart of anyone with understanding. And therefore in that the reason of the matter is a miracle with our people and a great honor for them, it stopped from the time they became corrupted by sins; as they, may their memory be blessed, said (Sotah 47a), "From when adulterers proliferated, the sotah waters stopped; as it is stated (Hosea 12:4), 'I will not punish your daughters when they are unfaithful, etc.'" And the understanding of the verse is to say that He will [no longer] do this great miracle for them, that the waters should test whether the woman was unfaithful.