Commentaire sur La Genèse 32:5

גרתי I HAVE SOJOURNED — I have become neither a prince nor other person of importance but merely a sojourner. It is not worth your while to hate me on account of the blessing of your father who blessed me (27:29) “Be master over thy brethren”, for it has not been fulfilled in me (Tanchuma Yashan 1:8:5). Another explanation: the word גרתי has the numerical value of 613 - תרי״ג - it is as much as to say, “Though I have sojourned with Laban, the wicked, I have observed the תרי״ג מצות, the 613 Divine Commandments, and I have learned naught of his evil ways.

THUS SHALL YE SAY UNTO MY LORD ESAU: THUS SAITH THY SERVANT JACOB. He commanded them that they should say “to my lord Esau we belong,” or “we were sent to him,”¹¹The intent of Ramban is to state that Jacob, speaking to his servants, did not refer to Esau as “my lord Esau,” but rather he commanded them to use the expression in Esau’s presence. and to say to him, Thus saith thy servant Jacob: I have sojourned with Laban. A similar example in this section is the verse: When Esau my brother meeteth thee, and asketh thee, saying, Whose art thou?¹²Further, Verse 18. The verse concludes that they are to tell him that it is a gift “to my lord Esau.” Again Jacob is telling them what to say. It may be that in their presence Jacob called Esau “my lord Esau” in order to caution them not to mention Esau in any other but a respectful way even when not in his presence, inasmuch as their lord calls him “my lord.”
Know that this respect which Jacob showed for his brother by fearfully saying “my lord” and “thy servant” was due to it being the custom of the younger brother to give recognition and respect to the firstborn as if he were his father, just as the Torah also hints to us on this matter:¹³Kethuboth 103a. Commenting on the letter vav in the expression, ve’eth imecha (“honor thy father ‘and’ thy mother“), our Rabbis said: “This includes your oldest brother!” “This includes your oldest brother.” Now Jacob had taken his birthright and his blessing, for which Esau hated him, and now he is acting towards Esau as if the effect of that sale was nil as far as he was concerned, and he is conducting himself towards him as to a firstborn and father in order to remove the hatred from his heart.

ויצו אותם לאמור, he commanded them and said to them: כה תאמרון, the messengers were oblivious of what it was that troubled Yaakov.

ואחר עד עתה. This is why I did not come to pay my respects to you until now.

ויצו אותם לאמור, He instructed them to say, etc. We must first understand the reason for the word לאמור, seeing that Jacob had already said to these messengers: "thus you shall say." Perhaps Jacob meant that they should tell Esau that they had been instructed to say precisely the words they were about to say. Otherwise, Esau might form the impression that the messengers related to him with deference and called him "his master," being aware that he was the senior brother and that it was only common courtesy to address him in that fashion, but that Jacob himself had never uttered the word אדון in relation to his brother. Jacob wanted to be sure that Esau realised that he himself had addressed him as אדון, master. He did so in order to remove any vestige of hatred and jealousy Esau might still, harbour against him in his heart. Were this not the true reason it is difficult to understand why Jacob should refer to Esau as his master even while Esau was not present. We must conclude therefore that Jacob used this term of flattery in order to avoid a possible war between himself and Esau.

ויצו אותם לאמור. He commanded them to use precisely the words Yaakov instructed them to use in the following verse, i.e. כה תאמרו “you shall say precisely these words!” This is clear from the fact that Yaakov charged his messengers to say to Esau: “thus say to my lord Esau. He should have said only: “thus say to Esau when you meet him, etc.”

כה תאמרו לאדוני לעשו, “thus you shall say to my lord, to Esau.” This does not mean that Yaakov called his brother: “my lord,” as this would not make sense unless you are in the presence of the person so described. It means that he commanded his servants to address Esau with the title “my lord, thus has said your servant Yaakov.” when they would meet him. It is also possible that that Yaakov did refer to Esau as “my lord” even when he was not in his presence in order to warn his messengers to address him with the proper degree of deference even when they were not in his presence. They would do so once they noticed that even their own master did so even in his absence. All of this was not an unusually obsequious behaviour by Yaakov, but it was customary for the younger brother to refer to his older brother in such terms, as a sign of respect. The reason the Torah reports all this, is to tell us that although Yaakov had purchased the birthright from his brother, he still considered him the senior brother, biologically speaking. He hoped to persuade Esau by this stratagem that the “birthright” in terms of personal honour, was of no concern to him whatsoever.

כה תאמרון לאדוני לעשו, this what you are to say to my lord Esau, etc.” This does not mean that Yaakov addressed Esau as “my lord” even in his absence. It means that Yaakov instructed messengers that if they would be asked they were to say that what they were guarding and guiding was destined as “a gift for my lord Esau”, just as the Torah describes in verse 19.

I have not become an officer or anyone of importance... Otherwise it should simply say, “With Lavan I was delayed.”

(5-6) Wir haben oben gesehen, aus welchen Gründen Jakob arm aus dem väterlichen Hause fortgegangen war, und wenn er jetzt reich zurückkehrt und zumal Esau auch nicht mehr zu Hause ist, lag das Bedürfnis sehr nahe, dem Esau sagen zu lassen, dass, und wie er alles erworben. In drei Worten sagt er Esau das ganze Bittere und Prüfungsvolle seiner Vergangenheit. Fremd und unberechtigt sein ist überall hart, bei einem Laban sein unter allen Umständen eine harte Prüfung, עם לבן גרתי, als Fremder bei einem Laban seine Tage zuzubringen, vergegenwärtigt das bitterste Los. ואחר עד עתה und nicht aus Wohlbehagen, sondern gezwungen war ich, so lange zu bleiben. Ich wäre gerne früher gekommen. Allein bis vor sechs Jahren hatte ich nur Frauen und Kinder, aber noch nicht den ersten eigenen Groschen erworben. Auf diesem harten, wenig beneidenswerten Wege zwanzigjähriger Mühen bin ich zu dem gelangt. was ich habe. Ich habe es für Recht gehalten, dich dies wissen zu lassen, damit — dieses lange Leid Sühne für Vergangenes, und mein jetziger Wohlstand selbst mein Fürsprecher bei dir sein möge.

וישלח יעקב...כה תאמרון לאדוני לעשו, Yaakov sent......thus you shall say to my lord, to Esau: Yaakov was punished for referring to Esau as “my lord.” G–d said to him: “I have said to your mother that the older of her sons will serve the younger” (Genesis 25,23) and you have taken it upon yourself to address your elder brother as “my lord” eight times? This is why in this portion we will read that eight kings ruled over the kingdom of Esau (Edom) before the first king ruled over Israel. This is why this very point has been recorded in this portion at the end of this portion (Genesis 36,31-43)

לאדני, לעשו, “to my lord, to Esau.” We find Yaakov addressing Esau as “my lord,” no fewer than eight times in this portion. This may be the reason why eight kings ruled in the land of Edom before the first king ruled in the land of Israel.

עם לבן גרתי, as you are aware of, I was there at the command of my father and mother. He said this so Esau would not think that he had run away on his account.

עם לבן גרתי, ”I have sojourned with Lavan, etc.” I have stayed all this time even though he kept treating me like a stranger (and not like a son-in-law).

עם לבן גרתי, “I have stayed with Lavan, etc.” He was anxious to at one and the same time describe the fact that he had not stayed away from home for 22 years out of fear of his brother’s vengeance, but had remained with Lavan as he had had to work very hard. We find the words גרתי משך in that context in Psalms 120,5 where the psalmist bemoans the fact that he had to dwell for a long time with the Meshech and the clans of Kedar. Secondly, he informed Esau that he had become very wealthy though this was of secondary importance to him. G’d had granted him wealth in return for his hard labour. His wealth was the result of the sweat of his brow, he had not inherited it from his fathers. Had his wealth derived from an inheritance, Esau would have been entitled to his share of the inheritance. Thirdly, he wanted Esau to know that he came in peace and was interested in a brotherly relationship with Esau. He was sending the messengers and the gifts to prepare the way for a friendly reunion.

Another explanation: The gematria of גרתי... I have kept תרי"ג commandments... Thus, you cannot defeat me. When your father blessed you that “you shall live by your sword” (27:40), that is only “When you have cause to be grieved” (ibid). [I.e., “When the Israelites will transgress the Torah.”] But I kept the whole Torah! Maharshal explains that Rashi is answering the question: Why did Yaakov say, “I have not become an officer...”? For this actually would allow the wicked Eisov to claim, “If the blessings were not fulfilled for you, you surely did not keep the mitzvos! Thus I should fulfill regarding you, ‘When you have cause to be grieved, you will throw off his yoke from your neck.’” Therefore Yaakov told him, “I kept all the 613 mitzvos. Nevertheless, I have not become an officer.”

עם לבן גרתי, "I have sojourned with Laban, etc." What precisely did Jacob tell Esau in this speech that Esau had not known? Perhaps it is the custom between brothers who are on good terms with one another to exchange details about their experiences in life. Jacob may have done so in order to show that he considered himself on good terms with Esau.

כה אמר עבדך יעקב, “thus has said your obedient servant Yaakov;” Yaakov used this subservient posture in order to cool Esau’s burning anger at what he perceived that Yaakov had done to him. He hinted broadly that his father’s blessing which had portrayed Esau as subservient to him had not been fulfilled at all. In fact, he, Yaakov, was quite ready to recognise his older brother as also his senior.

ואחר, the construction is similar to ואאחר, or as in Maleachi 1,2 ואוהב את יעקב “I displayed love for Yaakov.” In both instances this is an abbreviation for ואאהב. We have similar constructions in vaochal, vaomar, in both instances the first root letter is missing.

ואחר עד עתה, “I delayed my return until now.” I was not forced by external pressures to delay my return, but I did so of my own free will.

In addition Jacob may have acted very cleverly by implying that there was no point in Esau behaving in a hostile manner, that Laban had already tried this for many years and it had not benefited him at all. The words: עם לבן גרתי were a veiled reference to the wickedness of that man. If he, Jacob, after so many years in the house of that man returned now as a wealthy man with a large family this was proof that it paid to be on good terms with a man such as he. He added: ואחר עד עתה, I delayed my return until now, meaning that all of his wealth had not been acquired in a short period of time but that his success had been ongoing. When he added that he had acquired a substantial amount of wealth, he intimated that his wealth notwithstanding he described himself as junior, as "a servant" to his older brother. His words were designed to melt even a heart of stone.

עם לבן גרתי, he explains that he had learned to adopt such a wealth of animals and servants this was due to my having stayed with my uncle many years. If he had stayed in someone else’s house during all these years he would still be penniless. An alternate explanation of the line: “I have sojourned with Lavan; ”you are aware that I stayed with Lavan as my father and mother have commanded me.” He said this in order to underline that Esau should not flatter himself that he had been a fugitive from Esau’s wrath. A third alternate exegesis of these words: Esau should not be cross that he had not come sooner to pay his respects to him; the only reason for this was that he had been indentured to Lavan under contract.