Commentaire sur Les Nombres 30:14

כל נדר וכל שבעת אסר וגו׳ EVERY VOW AND EVERY BINDING OATH [TO AFFLICT THE SOUL HER HUSBAND MAY CONFIRM IT OR HER HUSBAND MAY ANNUL IT] — Because it states that a husband may annul his wife’s vows, one might think that all vows are implied! It therefore states: “[every vow] …to afflict the soul” — he may annul only vows to afflict the soul, and these are set forth in Treatise Nedarim 79b.

EVERY VOW, AND EVERY BINDING OATH TO AFFLICT THE SOUL, [HER HUSBAND MAY ESTABLISH IT, AND HER HUSBAND MAY MAKE IT VOID]. “Since He had said [in the preceding verses] that a husband may annul [his wife’s vows], I might think that this includes all her vows! Scripture therefore says, to afflict the soul, meaning that he can only annul vows which afflict the soul, and they are explained in Tractate Nedarim.” These are the words of Rashi. But his language here is [too] concise, because a husband annuls vows which afflict the soul, such as [if she vows] “The fruits of the world be forbidden to me,” or even if she [only] vowed that she would not taste one of all the kinds [of fruits]; and likewise he may annul matters [which concern the relationship] between himself and his wife, even if they do not involve affliction of the soul, such as [if she swore] “I will not paint [my eyes]” or “I will not put powder on my face,” or “I will not have sexual intercourse,” these being matters about which He said, between a man and his wife,⁵⁰Further, Verse 17. as is explained in the last chapter of Tractate Nedarim.⁵¹Nedarim 79b. Such is also the law with respect to the father himself, as we have been taught in the Sifre:⁵²Sifre, Matoth 155. “I only know that a husband may annul vows [which concern the relationship] between himself and his wife, and vows which afflict the soul, [to the exclusion of other vows which he may not annul]. Whence do I know that the father [is similarly limited in his rights]? You can reason [in the following manner] etc… But I have not succeeded in establishing [the father’s law] by reason. Therefore Scripture says: These are the statutes, which the Eternal commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between a father and his daughter.⁵⁰Further, Verse 17. [This teaches us that] we must of necessity compare the father to the husband, sothat just as the husband may only annul vows [which concern the relationship] between himself and his wife, and matters which involve affliction of the soul, so also the father may only annul matters [which concern the laws] between him and her,⁵³Such as if she vows not to give him the wages for her work. and matters which involve affliction of the soul.” It is also taught in this way in the Gemara Yerushalmi of Tractate Nedarim.⁵⁴Yerushalmi Nedarim XI, 1. For “Yerushalmi” see Vol. III, p. 192, Note 44.

כל נדר וכל שבועת איסר לענות נפש, “any vow or any prohibition by oath, the purpose of which is to diminish one’s quality of life, etc.” This verse tells us that the husband has no power to rescind a vow by his wife unless it impinges on his quality of life; for instance, if his wife vowed not to partake of certain foodstuffs forever, and the change in her diet has definitively negative effect on her health, something that it is in her husband’s interest to preserve. The same applies to matters that affect the interpersonal relationship between husband and wife, such as the wife vowing not to use any cosmetics, something that will make her unattractive in the eyes of her husband. Anything that is within the province of a husband to rescind is also within the province of a father to rescind. The Torah equated father and husband by writing בין איש לאשתו ובין אב לבתו, “between a man and his wife or between a father and his daughter.”