Halakhah sur L’Exode 34:7

One who truly wishes to honor his father and his mother should involve himself in Torah study and good deeds, for the greatest honor to parents is when people say, "Fortunate are the father and mother who have reared such a son." If the son does not walk in the right path, his parents suffer humiliation because of him, and he embarrasses them with the utmost embarrassment. Also, the father who truly has compassion on his children will involve himself in Torah study and good deeds, and will please God and mankind, and his children will be proud of him. But he who does not walk in the right path brings disgrace on his children. Also children die because of the iniquity of their fathers as it is written,¹⁴Exodus 34:7. "Visiting the iniquity of fathers on children." There is no greater cruelty than causing his children to die of his sins. Nobody has more compassion on his children than the righteous man, for his merit endures for a thousand generations.

And the essence of confession that we received from our Rabbis and that is the custom of all of Israel to say during the Days of Repentance is, "However, we have sinned, we have been guilty, etc." And they, may their memory be blessed, said in Shabbat 32a in the chapter [entitled] Bemeh Madlikin, "One who became ill and tended toward death, they say to him, 'Confess,' as it is the way of all those executed to confess." And so [too,] in Tractate Semachot, it is taught, "One who tended toward death, they say to him, 'Confess before you do not die. Many confessed and did not die, and many who did not confess died and many that are walking in the marketplace [have] confessed, as you live from the merit of your confessing.'" If he can confess orally, he [should do so], and if not, he [should] confess in his heart. And Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman (Ramban), may his memory be blessed, wrote (in Torat HaAdam, Chapter of the End, regarding confession) that he received [a tradition] from pious men and men of good deeds, that such is the confession of someone on his deathbed: "I admit in front of You, Lord, my God and God of my fathers, that my healing is in Your hands and my death is in Your hands. May it be the will in front of You that You heal me [with] a complete healing. But if I die, let my death be atonement for all of my sins and my iniquities and my rebellion that I have sinned and been iniquitous and rebelled in front of You; and let my portion be in the Garden of Eden, and make me merit the World to Come that is safeguarded for the righteous." And remember this order, to say sins first, and afterwards iniquities and afterwards rebellion - the way we have mentioned, "I have sinned, I have been iniquitous, I have rebelled (chatati, aaviti, pashaati)." As Rabbi Meir and the Sages already disagreed about this in the Gemara (Yoma 36a): Rabbi Meir reasons that it is the opposite, that we say like Moshe said, "Who carries iniquity, rebellion and sin" (Exodus 34:7). But the law is like the Sages who reason that one mentions sins first. And the reason for the matter is explained in the Gemara.