Les Psaumes 90:17 Halakha : Kitzur Shulchan Arukh, Shulchan Arukh, Orach Chayim, Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh De'ah & Tur

After completing the Shemoneh Esrei, half-Kaddish is said followed by "vihi no'am," ["may the pleasantness"] which is said because it is a Psalm of blessing⁷Psalms 90: 17, 91. with which Moses blessed Israel when they completed the construction of the Tabernacle. It should be recited while standing.⁸During the first verse (Mishnah Berurah 295: 1) and preferably for the entire chapter. [Shaarei Teshuva 295] It is customary to repeat the final verse: "Orech yamim etc." ["With long life"]. After that "Ve'atah kadosh" ["and You, Holy One"] and the kedushah-order are said, since it relates to "Vihi no'am," because through the construction of the Tabernacle, the Shechinah dwelled amongst Israel. This is [the interpretation of]: "And You, Holy One, are enthroned upon the praises of Israel."⁹Taz 295. If Yom Tov occurs during the following week, even if on Friday, "Vihi no'am" and "Ve'atah kadosh" are not said, since included in "Vihi no'am" is [the prayer:] "Umaasei yadeinu koneneihu" ["and the work of our hands—establish it"]. Therefore, it is required that all six weekdays be fit for work. And once "Vihi no'am" is not said then, "Ve'atah kadosh" is also not said, because they relate to one another. After [completing] "Vihi no'am" and "Ve'atah kadosh," whole- Kaddish is said followed by "Veyiten lecha" and "Aleinu." These prayers are said after Maariv on Shabbos night, so that the Bnei Yisroel can prolong the completion of the order [of prayers], in order to delay the return of the wicked to Gehinnom; because it waits for them until the last assembly in Israel completes its order [of prayers].¹⁰Until then, some of the holiness of Shabbos remains. [Gra] This is based on Zohar, Midrash Tanchumah—Ki Sissa, Pesikta Rabasi.

It is customary, upon leaving the cemetery to pluck some grass⁸According to Shulchan Aruch, 547:12, this should not be done when a burial takes place on Chol Hamoed. and throw it behind your back and say, "He is mindful that we are dust."⁹Psalms 103:14. This is also symbolic of the resurrection of the dead, who will emerge living from their dust, as it is said, "And may they blossom out of the city like grass of the earth."¹⁰Psalms 72:16. This may also be done on Chol Hamoed.¹¹See note 8. They should then wash their hands. There is a symbolic allusion to this practice, for this impurity (death) can be purified only by means of these three things: water, ashes of the Red Cow, and the hyssop. This handwashing should not be done in a river, but with water poured from a vessel. You should not take the vessel from the hand of another who washed; rather the first one puts it down and the others take it, and the hands should not be wiped. Some say that one should sit down seven times, because of the evil spirits that accompany him, and when one sits, they flee. In some places they are accustomed to sit only three times after they wash their hands, and they say each time: "Vehi Noam" etc. [And may the pleasantness (of our master etc.)]¹²Psalms 90:17. Even when the burial takes place on Yom Tov they can sit three times, as on the weekdays. It is our custom to be mindful that a person should not enter his house before washing his hands and sitting down. The customs of our ancestors have the validity of Torah law.

That all of one's intentions be for the sake of Heaven. And there is one paragraph in it.
If it is impossible for him to study without sleeping in the afternoon, he should sleep. Rema: And when he wakes from his sleep, he does not need to recite the blessing, "My Lord, the soul..." (Beit Yosef). And some say that he should read, "May the pleasantness..." before he sleeps (Kol Bo). [And this is] so long as he does not make it long; as it is forbidden to sleep during the day more than the sleep of a horse, which is sixty breaths. And even in this little, his intent should not be for the pleasure of his body, but rather to strengthen his body for the service of God, may He be blessed. And likewise with anything that is pleasant for him in this world, his intent should not be for his pleasure, but rather for the service of the Creator, may He be blessed; as it is written (Proverbs 3:6), "In all of your ways, know Him." And the Sages said, "Let all of your actions be for the sake of Heaven." As even optional things – such as eating, drinking, walking, sitting, getting up, sexual relations and conversation – all of them should be for the service of your Creator or for something that enables serving Him. For even if one was thirsty or hungry – if he ate or drank for his pleasure, it is not praiseworthy. Rather he should intend to eat and drink for his sustenance, to serve his Creator. And likewise even to sit in the council of the righteous, to stand in the place of the saintly and to go in the path of the straight – if he does it for his own pleasure and to fulfill his desire, it is not praiseworthy; only when he does it for the sake of Heaven. And likewise with laying down: There is no need to say that at a time when he is able to be in involved with Torah study or with commandments, he should not entice himself with sleep to enjoy himself. Rather even at a time when he is weary and needs to sleep in order to rest from his weariness – if he does [so] for the pleasure of his body, it is not praiseworthy. Rather he should intend to give sleep to his eyes and rest to his body for the requirements of health, so that his mind not get jumbled during Torah study on account of sleep deprivation. And likewise with sexual relations: Even at the time [prescribed] by the Torah, if he does [it] for the pleasure of his body, it is disgraceful. And even if his intent is in order that he will [produce] children that will serve him and take his place, it is not praiseworthy. Rather he should intend that he will [produce] children for the service of his Creator; or he should intend to fulfill the commandment of the [prescribed] time, like someone who is paying his debt. And likewise with conversation: Even to recount words of wisdom, his intent must be for the service of the Creator or for something that leads to serving Him. The principle of the matter [is that] one is obligated to put his eyes and his heart to his ways and evaluate all of his actions on the scales of his intellect: So when he sees something that will bring him to serving the Creator, may He be blessed, he should do it. But if not, he should not do it. And one who acts like this will be serving his Creator constantly.