Pensée juive sur La Genèse 24:40

The Talmud Sotah 2 also says that marriage partners are provided for man only in accordance with his deeds, his moral accomplishments. This statement does not contradict the statement about the angel predetermining who should marry whom. The idea portrayed is that the partner that comes with a person at birth is the genetic and environmental equipment which we commonly term mazzal. When man chooses a wife, however, he does so on the basis of the merit he has acquired since his birth. The original mazzal can be augmented or neutralized in one of two ways. 1) Man remains free to overcome natural handicaps by willpower, determination, perseverance etc. 2) G-d extends active help, hashgachah peratit, based on that individual's merit. It is customary for mazzal and merit to complement each other. This was so in the case of Abraham who was born with many positive endowments, i.e. mazzal tov. By meriting G-d’s help, he was able to neutralize the one area in which he had been disadvantaged at birth, his sterility. This accomplishment on the part of Abraham and Sarah resulted in their son Isaac being born with excellent environmental and hereditary factors, mazzal tov. By the time Jacob was born, the mazzal had improved even further due to environmental and hereditary input of two generations. Life in an environment of an Abraham and an Isaac does create certain tendencies which then become part of one's mazzal. In this connection we observe Abraham telling his servant Eliezer, who was concerned about his chances of finding the right wife for Isaac, that the G-d who had seen fit to promise the land of Canaan to his descendants and who had protected them thus far, would intervene to facilitate the finding of the proper wife for Isaac (Genesis 24,40). All this underscores the importance of choosing a suitable life partner, one that can help one achieve one's maximum potential. The original "woman," i.e. the equipment man receives at birth, is meant to help man work towards his olam haba, eternity, by employing his intellect etc. The second "woman," his wife, is meant to smooth his path in this world, help him cope with the problems of a mundane existence, and in that process to free him for pursuits of a spiritual nature. It is for this reason that throughout the Bible both “man” and "woman" appear side by side. "Male and female He created them-- the side He had taken from man into a woman" (Genesis 2).