Moussar sur Les Proverbes 14:23

And from the conclusion of the matter [in this paragraph], you will hear how bad and bitter the actions that a few men and women do are, who gather together to rejoice in social merriment on the nights after Shabbat and other nights, particularly in the winter nights, and indulge in frivolous merriment, eating, drinking, playing music, and singing songs of lust and of idolaters. Woe to them! Woe upon them, since without a doubt their joy will be turned into sorrow, either in this world or the world to come, if they do not take to heart to return [that is, do teshuvah]. For besides the several prohibitions that they transgress — [such as the prohibition against sitting in] a gathering of scoffers and obscene speech in sensual songs — our Rabbis of blessed memory say (Sotah 48a) “an ear that listens to song will be uprooted”, and further, “A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bore him” (Proverbs 17:25), for the Holy One, blessed be He will say, “Oy! Cruel children! A voice is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping; Rachel is weeping for her Children” (Jeremiah 31:14). And she is like a maiden girded with sackcloth, “and Hashem will roar from on high, and from His holy habitation He will raise his voice; He will roar mightily over His dwelling place” [Jeremiah 25:30]. And the angels of peace weep bitterly, and all the host of Heaven on high, the righteous and the pious, and our righteous Messiah are weeping and mourning, and all over the destruction of the Temple that was destroyed due to our sins, and we at that time will be sitting and singing, rejoicing and making merry in social revelry — this is nothing except evil-heartedness and blindness. Whoever is fearful [of Heaven] and tender-hearted, upon hearing words such as these, should take to heart not to go anymore to social revelry of this sort, or even to a non-obligatory meal. Rather, “in all labour there is profit” [Proverbs 14:23], and he should not rejoice except in the joy of a mitzvah, and through this Israel will rejoice in its Maker.

The quality of Joy comes to a man out of the peace and security in his heart without an evil happening clouding it. And a man who achieves his desire without a sad event to mar it will be happy always, and his face will glow and his radiance will gleam, and his body will be healthy and old age will not quickly come upon him, as it is said: "A merry heart is good (healing) medicine" (Prov. 17:22). From joy will come laughter, but it is not fitting for an intelligent man to laugh too much, for with too much laughter goes a frivolous mind, as it is said: "For as the crackling of thorns under a pot so is the laughter of the fool" (Eccl. 7:6). And it has already been said that one of the signs of a fool is that he laughs when and where laughter is not proper. And it is not fitting for one who has the obligation of correcting others to conduct himself laughingly at meetings or gatherings, for the sages have said concerning him, "He who laughs much loses the respect of others, for when he laughs, another is unable to revere him (with the reverence due his teacher i.e.) with the fear of Heaven^** The concept involved here is that when one receives a teacher with reverence, it is as though he had received the Divine Presence.. Therefore, a man should reprove and strengthen himself not to laugh at the slightest pretext, nor should he acquire a teacher or companion who is given to much laughter, as it is said : "I did not sit in the assembly of them that make merry and rejoice" (Jer. 15:17). And it is written : "In all sadness there is some profit" (Prov. 14:23) (something to be learned or gained).

If a man revealed your sin, do not say, "Just as he revealed my sin, I will now reveal his sin," As it is said, "Thou shalt not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge" (Lev. 19:18). Neither may you boast and say, "Even though he has revealed my sin, I will not reveal his," for by so speaking you have already revealed the half of it. And this matter is a very great principle in the whole concept of reverence of God. But if the one who sins does not fear God then he is as one who throws off the yoke of the kingdom of Heaven from upon him, and if he does not guard himself against a single transgression which all the people of the city know to be a sin, then one does well to speak evil of him and to reveal his sins and to cause the sinner, to be odious in the eyes of the people, in order that the people may hear and despise him and set themselves apart from transgressions, as it is said, "An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous" (Prov. 29:27). And it is said, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil" (Prov. 8:13). And they said, a wicked man who is the son of a righteous man may be called "a wicked man, son of the wicked," while a righteous man who is the son of a wicked man may be called "a righteous man, son of the righteous" — and precisely in this way is it permitted to shame him for the sake of Heaven. But a man who quarrels with another and intends to shame him for his own satisfaction and not for the sake of Heaven, may not reveal his sin (Sanh. 52a). And similarly if the one who reveals the transgression of his companion is himself a sinner, he should not reveal the wrong of another sinner, for he certainly is not revealing the secrets of the sinner for a good purpose. "But the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury" (Prov. 14:23).