Commentaire de citation sur L’Ecclésiaste 5:4

ויאמר לבן טוב תתי אתה לך מתתי אתה לאיש אחר, even though giving her to another man [presumably someone with liquid assets, and she would not have to wait for seven years to be married, Ed.] would also be good. Man without a woman, a wife, or a woman without a husband are both not considered as טוב as a “good situation.” (based on Jerusalem Talmud Berachot 9, but expressed in negative terms, i.e. that being single is not good, intolerable.) This reflects what G’d said in Genesis 2,18 that it was not a good situation for Adam to be solitary, without a mate, without a wife. The term טוב is not an absolute, objective term, but is often used to describe a relative situation, i.e. “better than.” Even when used in such a context, it may not necessarily be relative to one other choice, but could be relative to a variety of choices, some bad, some relatively good when compared to the bad choice but relatively bad when compared to the best alternative. The author quotes from Lamentations 4,9 and Kohelet 4,17 as well as from Proverbs 15,17 as well as from Kohelet 5,4 and Kohelet 4,2-3 to illustrate how the word טוב is used in different contexts, generally as a comparative to an alternative. (According to Rabbeinu Bachya’s understanding of Rabbeinu Chananel, Lavan meant to say that although a good case could be made for giving Rachel in marriage to someone else, in fact such a choice might be considered superior, he was agreeable to Yaakov’s proposal.)

.טוב תתי אותה לך , “it is good that I give her to you.” Rabbeinu Chananel understands Lavan’s words as follows: “even though giving her to someone else would be preferable, seeing that a woman should not be without a man, nor a man without a wife, [and a delay of seven years is very long, Ed.] I agree.” He bases his commentary on Talmud Jerusalem Berachot 9,1 and Genesis 2,18. Lavan expressed his agreement that Yaakov was the better of two good choices as son-in-law. We encounter the use of the word ...טוב מ also in a different context where it refers to the better one of two bad choices. In Kohelet 5,4 we read טובים היו חללי חרב מחללי רעב, “the ones who were killed by the sword are better off than those killed by famine.” On a third occasion we find the expression ...טוב מ as comparing a good alternative with a bad alternative. We read in Kohelet 4,13 טוב ילד מסכן וחכם ממלך זקן וכסיל. “A poor and wise child is preferable to an old but foolish king.” The expression also occurs when it clearly contrasts two positives but gives preference to one of them. We read in Proverbs 15,17: “better a dish of vegetables served lovingly than a fatted ox served grudgingly.” [The author continues with more examples which I have decided to skip. Ed.]

וידר יעקב נדר, “Yaakov made a vow;” if you were to ask that according to the Talmud in Chulin, 2 (based on Kohelet 5,4) that it is better not to make any vows than to make vows and not pay them on time, so why did Yaakov make such a vow? The word: לאמור which follows the quote above was added in the Torah to show that Yaakov, who was in dire circumstances, made the vow due to his desperate situation; we are to learn from this that in such circumstances G-d even welcomes a vow, as it is proof that the person making it has turned to Him for help.