מדרש על בראשית 16:12

And these are the names of the Sons of Israel that came into Egypt with Yaakov, every man came with his household – There it is written (Mishlei 13, 24): “He who spares the rod hates his son; but he who loves him disciplines him in his youth.” Ordinarily in the world, if a person says to his friend: “So-and-so hit your son”, he would be ready to reduce his livelihood. And why is it taught “ He who spares the rod hates his son”?! In order to teach you, that anyone who refrains from disciplining his son in the end causes him to fall into evil ways and will hate him. This is what we have found with Yishmael, who behaved wickedly on Avraham his father but did not rebuke him, with the result that he fell into evil ways and he hated him and he left from his house with nothing. What did Yishmael do when he was fifteen years old? He started to bring idols from the market and he would play with them and worship them as he had seen others do, immediately (Bereishit 21, 9) “And Sarah saw the son of the Egyptian Hagar that she had given birth for Avraham was fooling around etc…” And there is no fooling except for idol worship, like that it says (Shemot 32,6): And they rose up to fool around. Immediately (Bereishit 21,10): And she said to Avraham , Send out this maid-servant and her son, perhaps my son will learn from him. Immediately, (Bereishit 21,11) And this thing was very bad in the eyes of Avraham etc...on account of his son because he had become evil. (Bereshit 21,12) And G-d said to Avraham, do not let it be evil in your eyes etc... From here you can learn, that Avraham was secondary to Sarah in prophecy, following on, (Bereishit 21,14): And Avraham got up in the morning and he took bread and a bottle of water, to teach you, that he hated Yishmael because of his evil ways, and sent him and his mother Hagar empty-handed and expelled them from his house because of this. Do you really think that Avraham, of whom it is written (Bereishit 13,2): And Avraham was very rich in cattle etc... that he would send his wife and his son from his house empty-handed, without clothes or means of a livelihood?! Rather, this is to teach you, since he turned evil, he stopped thinking about him. What was his end? After he had been expelled, he sat at the cross-roads and was a bandit, as it says (Bereishit 16,12): And he was a wild man. And similar to this (Bereishit 25,28): And Yitzchak loved Esav, therefore he turned to evil ways, because he was not rebuked, like we were taught: Five transgressions the evil Esav transgressed on that day: He seduced an engaged lady, and killed a man, denied resurrection, and rejected the fundamentals of religion and spurned his birthright, that he desired the death of his father, and sought to kill his brother, as it says (Bereishit 27,41):May the days of mourning for my father be brought close etc.. And he forced Ya'acov to flee from his father. And he even went with Yishmael, to learn from his evil ways and to add to his wives, as it says (Bereshit 28,9): And Esav went to Yishmael. Similarly with David, that he did not rebuke or chastise his son Avshalom, he turned to evil ways and sought to kill his father, and he lay with concubines, and becoming the cause if his wandering, bare-footed and crying, and many thousands and myriads of Israelites were slaughtered, and he caused much suffering upon them which did not end. As it is written (Psalms 3,1): A song of David, when he fled from Avshalom his son, just as it was written after (Psalms 3,2) How great in number have my enemies become etc. And cultural evil is harsher on one's home than the war of Gog and Magog, for regarding the war of Gog and Magog it says: (Tehilim 2:1) "Why do the nations stir?" and later it is written: (Tehilim 3:2) "God, how many my enemies are!" And similarly David behaved with Adoniyah, he did not beat him in punishment, and did not get angry at him, and therefore he left to cultural evil, as is written: (Kings 1 1:6) "And his father never scolded him...and she bore him after Avshalom." Wasn't Avshalom the son of Maacha, while Adoniyahu was the son of Chagit? What does it mean, "she bore him after Avshalom"? Instead- since he [Avshalom] left to cultural evil, and his father never beat him, and it is written about Adoniyahu "his father never scolded him," he too left to cultural evil, and therefore it is written: "and she bore him after Avshalom." (Proverbs 13:24) "But he who loves him disciplines him in his youth" refers to the Holy Blessed One, who loves Israel, as it is written (Malachi 1:2) "I have loved you, says God," who increases their suffering. One can find three good gifts that the Holy Blessed One gave to Israel, and they were each given only by means of suffering: the Torah, the Land of Israel, and life in the World to Come. The Torah, as it is written: (Psalms 94:12) "How lucky is the man who You discipline, God, and to whom You teach Your Torah." The Land of Israel, as it is written: (Deuteronomy 8:5) "Bear in mind that the LORD your God disciplines you just as a man disciplines his son." What is written next? (Deuteronomy 8:7) "For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land..." The World to Come, as it is written: (Proverbs 6:23) "For the commandment is a lamp, the teaching is a light, and the way to life is the rebuke that disciplines." And when anyone rebukes his son, the son increases his love for his father, and he honors him, as it is said: (Proverbs 29:17) "Discipline your son and he will give you peace." And it says: (Proverbs 19:18) "Discipline your son while there is still hope." And he increases his love for him, as it says: "But he who loves him disciplines him early," meaning because he disciplines him early, therefore he loves him. You find that Abraham disciplined Isaac his son and taught him Torah and guided him in his ways, as is written about Avraham: (Genesis 26:5) "In return for Avraham's obedience to my voice" and it is written: (Genesis 25:19) "These are the descendants of Isaac, son of Abraham," which teaches you that he was similar to his father in all ways- in beauty, in wisdom, in wealth, and in good deeds. You should know that he [Isaac] was thirty-seven years old when his he was bound by his father, and it is written: (Genesis 24:1) "And Abraham was old, advanced in age" and yet he bound him and positioned him like a lamb, and he did not refuse. Therefore: (Genesis 25:5) "Abraham gave all that he had to Isaac," Which is to say, "he who loves him disciplines him early." In the same manner, Isaac would discipline Jacob early, for Isaac taught him Torah and disciplined him in his house of study, as it says: (Genesis 25:27) "but Jacob was a mild man who stayed home." And he learned what his father taught him, and then he separated from his father and hid in the house of Ever to study Torah. Therefore he merited blessing and inherited the land, as it says: (Genesis 27:1) "Jacob lived in the land of his father's residence, in the land of Canaan." And even our Patriarch Jacob disciplined his sons, and beat them and taught them his ways, so that none of them would be disposable, as it is written: (Exodus 1:1) "These are the names of the sons of Israel who arrived to Egypt..." The verse equates them all to Jacob, for they were all righteous as he had been. This resolves: "But he who loves him disciplines him early."

Do you believe that Abraham, concerning whom it is written: And Abraham was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold (Gen. 13:2), would have driven his own wife and son from his home, without clothes or food, silver or cattle (for any other reason)? This (episode) simply teaches us that after Ishmael went astray, he was no longer concerned about him. But if this is so, what is meant by And the thing was very grievous in Abraham’s sight on account of his son? It means that he was actually concerned (about the consequence of) Ishmael’s straying. You find that when Ishmael grew up, he would wait at the crossroads to murder and rob those who passed by, as it is said: And he shall be a wild ass of a man; and his hand shall be against every man (Gen. 16:12).

Variantly: "I am the L rd your G d": When the Holy One Blessed be He arose and proclaimed "I am the L rd your G d," the earth took ill, as it is written (Judges 5:4) "O L rd, when You came forth from Seir, when You strode from the field of Edom, the earth shook; the heavens, too, dripped," and (Ibid. 5) "Mountains dripped before the L rd," and (Psalms 29:4) "The voice of the L rd in strength; the voice of the L rd in glory!" … (Ibid. 9) "And in His sanctuary all proclaim "'Glory!'" Until their houses were suffused with the splendor of the Shechinah… And it was for this reason that the nations of the world were solicited (to accept the Torah.) So as not to give them a pretext vis-à-vis the Shechinah — to say: Had we been solicited, we would have accepted it. They were solicited and did not accept it! As it is written (Devarim 33:2) "And he said: L rd came from Sinai, etc." He came and revealed Himself to the sons of the wicked Esav and asked them: Will you accept the Torah? They: What is written in it? He: "You shall not kill." They: But this is what we have inherited from our father, as it is written (Genesis 27:40) "By your sword shall you live!" He revealed Himself to the sons of Ammon and Moav and asked them: Will you accept the Torah? They: What is written in it? He: "You shall not commit adultery." They: But we are all the sons of incest, as it is written (Genesis 19:36) "And the two daughters of Lot conceived by their father." How, then, shall we accept it? He came and revealed Himself to the sons of Ishmael and asked them: Will you accept the Torah? They: What is written in it? He: "You shall not steal." They: But this is the blessing by which our father was blessed, as it is written (Genesis 16:12) "And he (Ishmael) shall be a brutish man, etc." And when He came to Israel (Devarim 32:2), "in His right hand, the fire of the Law for them," they all opened their mouths and cried (Exodus 24:7) "All that the L rd says, we shall do and we shall hear!" And thus is it written (Habakkuk 3:6) "He stood and measured the land; He looked and dispersed the nations." R. Shimon b. Elazar said: If the sons of Noach could not abide by the seven mitzvoth commanded them, how much more so (could they not abide) by all the mitzvoth of the Torah! An analogy: A king appoints two caretakers, one over stores of grain, and one over stores of silver and gold. The first bridles at not having been appointed over the stores of silver and gold, and the second says to him: Empty one, if you were faithless with grain, how much more so with silver and gold! If the sons of Noach could not abide by seven mitzvoth alone, how much more so (could they not abide by the six hundred and thirteen mitzvoth (of the Torah)! Why was the Torah not given in Eretz Yisrael? So as not to provide a pretext to the nations of the world, viz.: Because it was not given in our land, that is why we did not accept it. Variantly: So as not to rouse contention among the tribes, one saying, it was given in my land; the other: it was given in my land. That is why it was given in the open desert. In three settings was the Torah given — desert, fire, and water. Just as these are free for all, so, Torah.

Variantly: "And He said: The L-rd came from Sinai": When the L-rd appeared to give Torah to Israel, it is not to Israel alone that He appeared, but to all of the nations. First He went to the children of Esav, and He asked them: Will you accept the Torah? They asked: What is written in it? He answered: "You shall not kill" (Shemoth 20:13). They answered: The entire essence of our father is murder, as it is written (Bereshith 27:22) "And the hands are the hands of Esav." And it is with this that his father assured him (Ibid. 27:40) "And by your sword shall you live." He then went to the children of Ammon and Moav and asked them: Will you accept the Torah? They asked: What is written in it? He answered "You shall not commit adultery." They answered: L-rd of the Universe, ervah (illicit relations) is our entire essence, as it is written (Ibid. 19:36) "And the two daughters of Lot conceived by their father." He then went and found the children of Yishmael and asked them: Will you accept the Torah? They asked: What is written in it? He answered: "You shall not steal" (Shemoth, Ibid.) They answered: L-rd of the Universe, our father's entire essence is stealing, viz. (Bereshith 16:12) "And he (Yishmael) shall be a wild man, his hand against all." There was none among all of the nations to whom He did not go and speak and knock at their door, asking if they would accept the Torah, viz. (Psalms 138:4) "All the kings of the earth will acknowledge You, O L-rd, for they heard the words of Your mouth." I might think they heard and accepted; it is, therefore, written (Ezekiel 33:31) "And they did not do them (the mitzvoth)." And (Michah 5:14) "And with anger and wrath will I take revenge of the nations because they did not accept (the mitzvoth)." And even the seven mitzvoth that the sons of Noach took upon themselves they could not abide by, until they divested themselves of them and ceded them to Israel. An analogy: One sent his ass and his dog to the threshing floor, loading his ass with a lethech (a dry measure) and his dog with three sa’ah. The ass went and the dog buckled, whereupon he took a sa'ah from it and put it on the ass; and so with the second (sa’ah) and so with the third. Here, too, Israel accepted the Torah with all of its explanations and inferences; but the sons of Noach could not even abide by the seven mitzvoth that they did take upon themselves, until they divested themselves of them and ceded them to Israel, wherefore it is written "And he said: The L-rd came from Sinai, etc."