Chasidut su Proverbi 21:2

And even worse than this, even at a time when he is guarding himself, his mind is not controlling his (self and his) emotions, but rather his emotions are controlling his (self and his) mind. His emotions distort his reasoning, causing him to mix up good and evil. The verse (Mishlei, 21:2) says, “every man’s path is right in his own eyes.” Why is it that the path of the thief, which is immoral, is correct in his own estimation? Why is it that the thief cannot understand something that is so clear to the rest of the world? It must be that his whole being and evil desires are distorting his mind.

Indeed we would not have had to answer you and go on any further with these matters if you are indeed infuriated in this way even partially, as you say that you are a Torah scholar, feeling hisragshus, even hislahavus, and are immersed in the Torah even when you walk through the supermarket. We said at the outset that we are only addressing these matters to the young scholar and Avreich who is worried about himself and his avodah. That is to say, we are addressing one whose spirit is lowly and heart is broken over his soul and his avodah, who says to himself, “doesn’t the verse say (Mishlei, 21:2), ‘every man’s path is right in his own eyes?’ And who can guarantee that I am going in the way of God in all my actions? Is it because my way is indeed proper and my path is straight, but then again it also seems to a man of wicked intent that his way is right in his own eyes. True I do the things that I do because the Torah commands them, but surely I have no lack of blemish and sin. The Gemara (Sotah 21a) tells us that (the performance of) a sin extinguishes (the reward for) a mitzvah. But still, since the Gemara follows this by saying, ‘sin does not extinguish (the merit of) Torah study,’ thus my Torah study is my guarantee. And yet, how can I be sure that my study of Torah is good and is pleasing before the Master of all? There are those who learned Torah in this way and fell together with their Torah study into hell. (May God protect us.) The holy Seer of Lublin once said that everyone who does not have thoughts of teshuvah before he studies Torah, of him it is said (Tehillim, 50:16), ‘But to the wicked man God says, What right have to you to declare My statutes,’ and in addition to this he gives strength to the kelipos.⁶⁸“shells” meaning forces of evil. [This is how the Maor VaShemesh,⁶⁹Kalonymus Kalman Epstein, (d. 1823) a student of the Seer, remembers the Seer’s explanation of the verse in Mishlei, “and she wakes while it is still night.”] Who knows if I had real thoughts of teshuvah and if my teshuvah was accepted? How can I be sure that I am not among those of whom it was said, ‘who gives you the right to declare My statutes?’ Being a Torah scholar and an Avreich Chassid means that my soul is in even greater danger, lest I lose my world to come in but a moment through the slightest blemish, may God protect us and save us!”