Chasidut su Salmi 50:78

Indeed we would not have had to answer you and go on any further with these matters if you are indeed infuriated in this way even partially, as you say that you are a Torah scholar, feeling hisragshus, even hislahavus, and are immersed in the Torah even when you walk through the supermarket. We said at the outset that we are only addressing these matters to the young scholar and Avreich who is worried about himself and his avodah. That is to say, we are addressing one whose spirit is lowly and heart is broken over his soul and his avodah, who says to himself, “doesn’t the verse say (Mishlei, 21:2), ‘every man’s path is right in his own eyes?’ And who can guarantee that I am going in the way of God in all my actions? Is it because my way is indeed proper and my path is straight, but then again it also seems to a man of wicked intent that his way is right in his own eyes. True I do the things that I do because the Torah commands them, but surely I have no lack of blemish and sin. The Gemara (Sotah 21a) tells us that (the performance of) a sin extinguishes (the reward for) a mitzvah. But still, since the Gemara follows this by saying, ‘sin does not extinguish (the merit of) Torah study,’ thus my Torah study is my guarantee. And yet, how can I be sure that my study of Torah is good and is pleasing before the Master of all? There are those who learned Torah in this way and fell together with their Torah study into hell. (May God protect us.) The holy Seer of Lublin once said that everyone who does not have thoughts of teshuvah before he studies Torah, of him it is said (Tehillim, 50:16), ‘But to the wicked man God says, What right have to you to declare My statutes,’ and in addition to this he gives strength to the kelipos.⁶⁸“shells” meaning forces of evil. [This is how the Maor VaShemesh,⁶⁹Kalonymus Kalman Epstein, (d. 1823) a student of the Seer, remembers the Seer’s explanation of the verse in Mishlei, “and she wakes while it is still night.”] Who knows if I had real thoughts of teshuvah and if my teshuvah was accepted? How can I be sure that I am not among those of whom it was said, ‘who gives you the right to declare My statutes?’ Being a Torah scholar and an Avreich Chassid means that my soul is in even greater danger, lest I lose my world to come in but a moment through the slightest blemish, may God protect us and save us!”

Regarding repentance, there are two approaches: [preparing for] the future, and fixing the past. This is why we require two approaches: ‎1. Living a life of purity in the future (regarding one’s knowledge, where Torah is the cure, and it ‎saves from transgression for the future. This is similar to light which can return a person to the ‎good, as stated in a midrash. (Eichah, Introduction 2) This is as our sages taught regarding ‎repentance, “One who learned a single page, now must learn two pages.” (Vayikra Rabbah 25:1)) 2. Atonement fixing the past and correcting the sin. This is accomplished through an offering, and ‎modeled on it via prayer or fasting and charity. We know that (Yevamot 74b) [lack of] atonement ‎does not prevent return, for one who repents, even just via thought in his heart, is fully righteous. ‎This stage is like terumah [referring here to both the pure tithe given to kohanim, and to an ‎intermediate state of holiness in life], elevated from the completely mundane to become ‎righteous on some level. But to be kodashim, one who wishes to be sanctified and become holy ‎must also heal that which came before. The time of day to accept the yoke of Heaven is linked ‎with terumah [in the Talmud’s statement that we recite Shema in the evening at the time when ‎the kohanim begin to eat their terumah], because lack of atonement for the past does not ‎prevent acceptance of the yoke of Heaven. Reciting Shema is Torah, as Rashi explains, and “to the ‎wicked one, G-d says, why do you speak My laws?” (Psalms 50:16) [Therefore, one must achieve ‎the level of terumah in order to recite Shema.] But immediately after one is purified for future ‎action, he is fully righteous, and he can accept the yoke of Heaven.‎