Commento su Deuteronomio 21:13

והסירה את שמלת שביה AND SHE SHALL REMOVE THE RAIMENT OF HER CAPTIVITY — the reason is because these are fine clothes, for the women of the heathen peoples adorned themselves in time of war in order to lure others (the enemy) to unchastity with them (Sifrei Devarim 213:1).

AND AFTER THAT THOU MAYEST COME UNTO HER, AND BE HER HUSBAND. The Rabbis have commented in the Sifre:¹⁵Sifre, Ki Theitzei 213 and Yebamoth 48b. “You have no privilege in her except cohabitation.” By this the Rabbis meant to say that betrothal with money or a writ³²This is a document stating. “Be thou betrothed to me,” and if he delivers it to her in the presence of two witnesses, she becomes his lawful wife. Thus, a legally permitted betrothal may be performed by one of those three means: money, a writ, or intercourse (Kiddushin 2a). is not binding on her. Even the cohabitation is not for the purpose of betrothal, since her status is still that of an idolatress upon whom betrothal is not binding; however, Scripture permitted him to cohabit with her.³³Thus, if she refused voluntary conversion at the expiration of the thirty-day mourning period, explained in the preceding verse, she is not legally bound to the man who cohabited with her. And because Scripture states [at the expiration of the thirty-day mourning period], and she shall be thy wife,³⁴In Verse 13 before us. it indicates that she becomes his real wife, and if she commits adultery while living with him, she is to be tried as a married woman. Thus the Rabbis have said in the Gemara of Tractate Kiddushin:³⁵Kiddushin 22a. “And thou wouldest take her to thee to wife.³⁶Verse 11. You have possession of her [through legal marriage],” that is, after following these regulations. And in the Sifre the Rabbis have said,¹⁵Sifre, Ki Theitzei 213 and Yebamoth 48b. “And she shall be thy wife,³⁴In Verse 13 before us. similar to what is stated, her food, her raiment, and her conjugal rights, he shall not diminish.”³⁷Exodus 21:9. If so, she is his wife in all respects seeing that the Torah gave him possession of her.
And in line with the simple meaning of Scripture it appears that he is prohibited from cohabiting with her at all until after he has gone through this entire procedure, this being the sense of the expression, and after that thou mayest come unto her, and be her husband. And that which Scripture stated, and thou desirest her, and thou wouldest take her to thee to wife,³⁶Verse 11. means that he would take her for his wife after [complying with] all these regulations which it will command. Similarly, so that I took her to be my wife³⁸Genesis 12:19. [means that Pharaoh took her to his house to be his wife]. However, in the Gemara of Tractate Kiddushin³⁹Kiddushin 21b. the Rabbis have said that he is permitted to engage in the first cohabitation [even before the procedure prescribed in this section], this being the sense of the expression, and thou wouldest take her to thee to wife.³⁶Verse 11. They interpreted the expression, “And thou shalt bring her home to thy house⁴⁰Verse 12. — this teaches that he is not to coerce her during battle.” The Rabbis connected it with the verse above, and thou wouldest take her to thee to wife [stated in Verse 11] meaning, when thou shalt bring her home to thy house [Verse 12]. Thus he takes her captive in battle and brings her to his home and to his city, and he cohabits with her in order to bring his lustful heart under control,⁴¹See Ezekiel 6:9. and after his first cohabitation she is prohibited to him until he follows through the entire procedure with her. This is the way of the Gemara in many places. But I have seen in the Yerushalmi of Tractate Sanhedrin:⁴²In our text of the Yerushalmi it is found in Makkoth II, 6. “Rabbi Yochanan sent to the Rabbis there [in Babylon],⁴³Rabbi Yochanan was the leading Rabbi of Amoraim in the Land of Israel during the generation following the death of Rabbi Yehudah Hanasi, redactor of the Mishnah. His contemporary in Babylon was Rav, leader of the Academy of Sura. ‘You say two things in the name of Rav which are not so. You say in the name of Rav, a beautiful woman was permitted only for the first cohabitation [prior to the prescribed procedure].’ And I say neither the first cohabitation nor the second is permitted save only after [complying with] all these regulations, [for it is written], and after that thou mayest come unto her, and be her husband — after she has gone through all these prescribed deeds.” And this is the plain sense of the verse.

ובכתה את אביה ואת אמה, to get her father and mother out of her system and reconciling herself to the fact that henceforth she would live in the Land of Israel, have no more contact with her parents. (whether they are dead or alive) Similar wording occurs in Psalms 45,11 שכחי עמך, the psalmist urging the Jewish people, compared to a princess, to forget their former environment and associates as she had been promoted to a loftier position. The prisoner of war described here as embracing Judaism has similarly been promoted to a far superior environment, severing her previous relationships completely. The weeping mentioned in our verse has nothing to do with the death of her parents for we do not kill mothers altogether. She weeps for having no longer a father and mother in the legal sense as these did not convert. Any other convert, not a prisoner of war, would similarly weep for this separation having occurred in her life as a result of her new status.

A moon of days. The Torah does not simply state, “month” to teach that just as the light of the moon is inferior to the light of the sun, so too the non-Jew is less desirable than a Jewish woman.

והסירה את שמלת שביה, in order to make her appear less attractive.

ובכתה, “she shall weep, etc.;” all this is designed to cool her suitor’s ardor and make her look physically unattractive. Nachmanides writes that all the regulations listed in our paragraph stem from the fact that she undergoes a reluctant conversion on her part. It is quite possible that the local religious authorities forced her to undergo ritual immersion, and that the period of thirty days before the marriage and true conversion can be performed give her time to become reconciled to her new situation. Ibn Ezra writes that the Torah granted her all this time to mourn properly for her parents, who may be presumed to have died during the war. Alternatively, she weeps in mourning for her parents who because they did not convert are no longer considered her kin. Maimonides writes in his Moreh Nevuchim section 3, chapter 41 that the Torah decrees the weeping as an emotional outlet for her enforced situation. It is a psychologically recognized fact that an extended period of weeping brings about a catharsis enabling her to come to terms with unwelcome new facts of life. During that month she is not required to address the duties that her marriage now imposes on her vis a vis her husband. Personally, (Nachmanides writing) the weeping has nothing to do with the Torah expressing compassion for this woman, but it provides a period during which she shall be weaned form the idolatrous practices and convictions that she grew up with. She must learn to refrain from using the names of her deities in her daily conversation, etc., as our sages have said in connection with mamzerim, bastards, as it is most unseemly for even a “husband” to engage in sexual relations with his wife when she is forced to submit to this, or when she is in a state of mourning That time is set aside for her to come to terms with the loss she has experienced. This period of thirty days enables her to make the emotional transition, to adjust to her new husband, who has presumably saved her life by taking her under his protection during that war that preceded these various rites. This is why the Torah describes what follows as her new husband sleeping with her as an act of marrying her, and bringing her into his house. If she wanted to convert sooner and dissociate herself from her past completely, she is at liberty to do so.

As they are attractive, etc. Rashi is answering [the question]: It is not the way of the world for people to wear unappealing clothing on the road so that [their] attractive clothing does not become dirty? If so, she should not remove these clothes so that she becomes repulsive to him! He explains that the way of the Israelite nation is certainly so, that they wear unappealing clothing when they go out on the road, but “the young gentile women, etc.”

והסירה את שמלת שביה, “and she is to remove the outer garment she wore when taken prisoner;” this was a garment she wore while worshipping her idols. We have examples in the Bible of such garments having to be scrapped in Genesis 35,2, where Yaakov commands his family members to scrap the captured garments they were wearing, which had originated in the city of Sh’chem. Anything that she was able to remove, which was a reminder of when she worshipped idols, had to be removed and destroyed.

וישבה בביתך AND SHE SHALL DWELL IN “THY” HOUSE — [not in the women’s apartments, but] in the house which he constantly uses: when he goes in he stumbles upon her, when he leaves he stumbles upon her (i.e. he cannot avoid meeting her constantly and the novelty of her beauty wears off); he sees her endless crying, sees her neglected appearance — and all this in order that she should become repulsive to him (Sifrei Devarim 213:2).

ואחר כן תבא אליה ובעלתה, “and after this period has elapsed you may come to her and sleep with her.” Nachmanides writes that the plain meaning of this verse is that her “husband, captor,” had been forbidden to have marital relations with her until all the procedures listed have been completed. Although with natural born Jewish women a binding marriage ceremony can be by means of a written contract or by the woman excepting some money or equivalent, according to Sifri these methods do not apply in the case of a prisoner of war of pagan background. Even sexual intercourse for a purpose other than to seal a marriage contract would not achieve this, as she was a gentile, and there is no such thing as marriage to gentiles, seeing the wedding includes a sacred, holy element, something that as long as she is not Jewish, this woman could not be capable of. The Torah had consented to the soldier sleeping with a prisoner with whom he was infatuated, but that does not make her his wife, not even to the exclusion of other suitors. Once she has converted, however, she is subject to Jewish law in all respects, and marital infidelity, for instance would be punishable by strangulation.

In the home he makes use of, etc. Rashi is answering the question: The verse should only have said “and she should sit and weep for her father and her mother,” since obviously she is in your house, for above it is written, “You will bring her into your house”! He answers that you might have thought that if he had two or three houses and lived in only one of them, she may sit in the one that he does not live. Therefore it says, “She will remain in your home,” [i.e.,] “in the home he makes use of,” meaning in the place that is his primary residence.

There was no need for the Torah to add that her body too must undergo an immersion in a ritual bath, Such a rule had already been made plain in Numbers 31,19 where the Jewish soldiers returning from the penal expedition against Midian had to undergo bodily purification for seven days as they had been in contact with dead bodies of Midianites.

ובכתה את אביה AND SHE SHALL WEEP FOR HER FATHER [AND HER MOTHER A FULL MONTH] — Why all this? In order to make a contrast — that while the Jewish woman (the captor’s Jewish wife) is gladsome, she should be downhearted, while the Jewish woman adorns herself, this one should bear a neglected appearance (Sifrei Devarim 213:5).

Why to such an extent? So that the Israelite daughter, etc. I.e., why does the Torah say that she should mourn over her idolatrous father and weep? She is [now] a convert! Rashi answers that this crying is not on account of her father’s honor, but “so that, etc.”

ובכתה את אביה ואת אמה, “and she is to observe a period of weeping (mourning) for her father and mother.” Weeping helps a person release feelings that had been suppressed. This will help her get over the loss of her parents.

She may have assumed that her parents had died during the fighting. (Ibn Ezra)

ואחר כן תבא אליה, “after all this, her captor may join her and marry her.” He is not allowed to have carnal relations with her before this. It would be in very bad taste to indulge in carnal relations with such a prisoner while she was weeping for her parents, and you were enjoying her body.