Halakhah su Genesi 20:19

However, the Tur (Peirush Tur Ha’aroch on Bereishit 46:10) explains this midrash in a manner that seemingly indicates the exact opposite, that the ovum donor is the halachic mother in a case of surrogate motherhood. In analyzing the midrash (quoted by Rashi on Bereishit 46:10) that Shimon married his sister, Dinah, the Tur wonders why their union did not constitute incest. After all, Shimon and Dinah were both children of Leah, and marrying a maternal sister was prohibited even before the giving of the Torah. The Tur answers that, as quoted above from Targum Yonatan, Dinah began in Rachel’s womb. Even after she was switched to Leah’s womb, the Halachah still considered her to be Rachel’s daughter, so she and Shimon thus had different mothers. Before the Torah was given, one was allowed to marry a paternal half-sister.¹¹Even nowadays, Noachide Law (Halachah pertaining to non-Jews) permits marrying a paternal half-sister, while a Jew may not marry any half-sister; see Vayikra 18:9, Rambam (Hilchot Melachim 9:5), and Rashi (Bereishit 20:12). Therefore, Leah’s son, Shimon, did not violate the Halachah when he married Rachel’s daughter, Dinah. We thus see that according to the Tur, the Halachah defines motherhood by the woman whose egg forms the fetus, even if another woman gives birth to the baby. Of course, Aggadic passages usually cannot serve as definitive halachic proofs.¹²See Yerushalmi (Pe’ah 2:4), Encyclopedia Talmudit (1:62), Teshuvot Yabia Omer (vol. 8, Even Ha’ezer 21:2), and Nishmat Avraham (3:17). Nevertheless, the Tur’s words merit serious halachic consideration, especially because he is explaining how to understand the story from a halachic perspective.

Anyone who hates a fellow-Jew in his heart, transgresses a negative commandment, as it is said: "Do not hate your brother in your heart."⁴⁰Leviticus 19:17. (See Chapter 189: 5) If anyone has sinned against you, you should not hate him inwardly, and keep quiet about it, as it is written concerning the wicked, "And Avshalom did not speak to Amnon either bad or good because Avshalom hated Amnon,"⁴¹II Samuel 13:22. but it is your duty to let him know [what you think of him] and to say to him,⁴²You should not denounce him publicly and thereby embarrass him, rather chide him in private in a calm and gentle tone of voice. (Mishnah Berurah 156:4). "Why have you done this to me, why have you sinned against me in this matter?", for it is said: "You must admonish your neighbor."⁴³Leviticus 19:17. If the offender regrets it and asks you to forgive him, you should forgive him and not be harsh, for it is said:⁴⁴Genesis 20:17. "And Avraham prayed to God."⁴⁵Asking God to heal Avimelech. Avimelech had taken away Sarah, but returned her to Avraham, expressing sincere remorse. In Avos de Rabbi Nasan (end of Chapter 16) [it is stated] "What is meant by 'hatred of people'?" It conveys this thought: "A person should not think of saying "I will love the scholars but hate the students, I will love the students but hate the unlearned." Rather, you should love them all, but hate the heretics, and those who mislead and entice people, [to abandon the Torah and follow false doctrines], and also [hate] the informers. And thus David said,⁴⁶Psalms 139:22. "Behold, those who hate You Hashem, I hate, and with those who rise up against You, I contend. With utmost hatred do I hate them, they have come to be my enemies." But didn't God say; "Love your neighbor as [you love] yourself, I am Hashem?" For what reason? Because I (God) have created him. And if he keeps the laws of your people you must love him, if not, you should not love him.