Midrash su Ecclesiaste 7:26

For this shall every pious one pray unto Thee at the time when Thou mayest be found (Ps. 32, 6). R. Chanina said: "L-eth Metzo, (At the time when thou mayest be found) alludes [to the time when one is about to take a] wife, as it is written (Pr. 18, 22.) Whoso hath found a wife hath found happiness." In Palestine, when a man married he was asked Matzah (found), or Motzei (find). Matzah, as it is written (Pr. 18, 22.) Whoso hath found (Matza) a wife hath found happiness; Motzei, as it is written (Ecc. 7, 26.) And I find (Motzei) the woman more bitter than death. R. Nathan said: "L-eth Metzo, refers to the Torah, as it is written (Pr. 8, 35.) For he who findeth me (the Torah), findeth life." R. Nachman b. Isaac said: "L-eth Metzo, means [the time of] death, as it is written (Ps. 68, 21.)The escape from death." We have also a Baraitha to the same effect: There are nine hundred and three kinds of deaths in the world, as it is said (Ib.) The escape from death (Totzaoth). The numerical value of the word Totzaoth, amounts to nine hundred and three; the hardest of all deaths is croup, and the easiest of all is the divine kiss; croup is like a thorn in a ball of wool, which [if one tries to tear loose] lacerates backward (in the opposite direction of the knots); others say as the gushing water at the entrance of a canal [when the sluice bars are raised]; the kiss referred to is like the extraction of a hair from milk. R. Jochanan said: "L-eth Metzo, refers to the grave." R. Chanina said: "Where is the Biblical passage to prove it? (Job 3, 22.) Who would rejoice, even to exulting, who would he glad could they but find a grave." Rabba b. R. Shila said: "Thus it is that people say: 'Man ought to pray for peace even to the last clod of earth thrown on his grave.' " Mar Zutra said: "L-eth Metzo, refers to the necessity of living in a place where there are sanitary conditions." The sages of Palestine [upon hearing all the opinions in explaining the above passage] remarked that Mar Zutra's opinion is the best of all.

Our masters have said in the name of R. [Hanina] (Huna) the father of R. Aha, “The adulterer and adulteress transgress the Ten Commandments.”¹³Numb. R. 9:12. [They] said to [him], “In the case of nine, we concede [his transgressing them].” How is this? In the case of (Exod. 20:2 = Deut. 5:6:) “I [am the Lord your God],” because anyone who commits adultery with the wife of his acquaintance is, as it were, denying the Holy One, blessed be He. It is so stated (in Jer. 5:8, 12), “They have denied the Lord and said, ‘He does not exist.’” (Exod. 20:5 = Deut. 5:7:) [“You shall have no other Gods”], since it is written of Him (in Exod. 20:5 = Deut. 5:9), “for [I] the Lord your God am a jealous God.” Also it is stated two times concerning the adulteress (in Numb. 5:14), “If the spirit of jealousy came over him, and he is jealous of his wife.” But why two times? Because it (i.e., the meal offering of the next verse)¹⁴So Rashi on Numb. 5:15. excites jealousy for the Holy One, blessed be He, and for her husband, as stated (in Numb. 5:15), “for it is a meal offering of jealousies.” Thus it is a case of two jealousies. (Exod. 20:7 = Deut. 5:11:) “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God [in vain].” [One breaks this commandment] because he commits adultery and swears in vain that he has not done so. (Exod. 20:12 = Deut. 5:16:) “Honor your father.” When one commits adultery with the adulteress, she becomes pregnant from him. Then she says to her husband, “I am pregnant from you.” When the fetus is grown, it honors her husband, [since it] thinks that he is its father. Moreover, [the grown child] passes through the market and hits the adulterer, since he thinks that he is not his father. (Exod. 20:13 = Deut. 5:17:) “You shall not murder.” The adulterer goes in on condition that, if he is caught, he will kill or be killed. (Exod. 20:13, cont. = Deut. 5:17, cont.:) “You shall not commit adultery.” Obviously [this commandment is broken], because he is committing adultery. (Exod. 20:13, cont. = Deut. 5:17, cont.:) “You shall not steal.” [This commandment is broken] because he is stealing his neighbor's source (i.e., his wife's womb), and so it says (in Prov. 9:17), “Stolen waters are sweet […].” (Exod. 20:13, cont. // Deut. 5:17, cont.:) “You shall not bear [false witness] against your neighbor.” [The commandment is broken] in that [the adulteress] bears false witness [to her husband] and says, “I am pregnant from you.” (Exod. 20:14; cf. Deut. 5:18:) “You shall not covet your neighbor's house, and you shall not covet your neighbor's wife […].” [The commandment is broken] because whoever covets his friend's wife and commits adultery with her, covets everything that belongs to his friend.¹⁵Cf. Lev. R. 23:12. How? When the husband comes to depart from the world, he thinks that this son is his and writes him a will¹⁶Gk.: diatheke. of all his assets. So he bequeaths to him whatever he has without knowing that he is not his son. It turns out that the adulterer covets whatever belongs to his friend.
They said to R. Hanina, “Here we have told you nine [commandments]. In regard to] (Exod. 20:8; cf. Deut. 5:12:) ‘Remember [the Sabbath (day)],’ how does he transgress against it?” He said to them, “I will tell you: Sometimes when a priest has a priestly wife, and a [lay] Israelite adulterer has sexual intercourse with her, such that she bears [a child] from him, they consider him (i.e., the child) to be the son of a priest. Then when the baby goes on to minister in the Temple, arrange wood, and sacrifice on the Sabbath, he is found to be profaning the Sabbath. Hence the Ten Commandments are violated by the adulteress with the adulterer. Solomon also has said concerning her (in Eccl. 7:26), “And I find [the woman] more bitter than death, [(the woman) who has snares and nets (in her heart)].” What is the meaning of “snares (rt.: tswd)?” She lies in wait (rt.: tswd) in this world and for the world to come.¹⁷The inference is from the fact that SNARES is plural and implies a minimum of two. And “nets?” The net catches [prey] in the water but does not catch [any] on dry land. The woman, however, catches [her prey] in the sea and on the dry land.¹⁸Eccl. R. 7:26:3. (Eccl. 7:26:) “And I find [the woman] more bitter than death.” Not to be loud, arrogant of gait, or bawdy in laughter: This is the way of the daughters of Israel. But if [a woman] was bawdy in the presence of one of them, one would warn her on the evidence of two [witnesses] and say to her, “Why should you be laughing with so and so? Why should you be speaking with him?” If she has [merely] spoken [with him] up to now, she is allowed into her house and may eat the terumah. [If] she has entered with him in secret and lingered to be defiled, she is forbidden her house and eating the terumah.

R. Jochanan (and according to others, R. Elazar), said: "The wife of a man does not die [frequently] unless he is requested to pay [his donation] and has not to pay, as it is said (Prov. 22, 27) If thou have nothing to pay, why should he take away thy bed from under thee?" R. Jochanan said again: "To him whose first wife dies, it is as if the Temple had been destroyed in his days, as it is said (Ezek. 24, 10) I will take away from thee the desire of thy eyes, etc., and (Ib.) And when I had spoken unto the people in the morning, my wife died at evening; and (Ib. 21) I will profane my sanctuary, the pride of your strength, the desire of your eyes." R. Alexandrai said: "To him whose wife dies, the world around him is dark, as it is said (Job 18, 6) The light becometh dark in his tent, and his lamp will be quenched above him." R. Jose b. Chanina said: Also his steps become shortened, as immediately it reads: The steps of his strength shall be narrowed. And R. Abahu said: "Also his advice is no more of use; as the end of the verse cited reads: And his own counsel shall cast him down." Rabba b. b. Chana said in the name of R. Jochanan: "Joining couples is as difficult as the dividing of the Red Sea, as it is said (Ps. 68, 7) God places those who are solitary in the midst of their families: He bringeth out those who are bound unto happiness. Do not read Motzi Assirim (bringeth out those who are bound), but read it K' motzi Assirim (like bringing out those who are bound). Do not read Bakosharoth (into happiness), but read B'chi V'shiruth (weeping and singing); i.e., at the Red Sea they wept first and then sang." Is this so? Has not R. Juda said in the name of Rab: "Forty days before the embryo is formed, a heavenly voice goes forth and says: 'This and that daughter to this and that son.'" This is not difficult to explain. The latter deals with the first marriage, and the former with the second marriage. R. Samuel b. Nachman said: "For everything there may be an exchange, but not for the wife of one's youth, as it is said (Is. 54, 6) And as a wife of one's youth that was rejected." R. Juda taught to his son, R. Isaac: "One can find pleasure only in his first wife, as it is said (Prov. 5, 18) Thy fountain will be blessed; and rejoice with the wife (Ib. b) of thy youth." "Whom do you mean?" his son asked, and he answered: "Your mother." Is that so? Did not R. Juda teach to R. Isaac his son (Ecc. 7, 26) And I find as more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, etc? And the latter asked him: "Who, for an example?" He answered: "Like your mother." True, she was irascible, but was easily appeased with a word. R. Samuel b. Unya said in the name of Rab: "A woman [unmarried] is an unfinished vessel, and she makes a covenant with [cares for] none but him who made her a vessel; as it is said (Is. 54, 5) For thy husband is thy master," etc. There is a Baraitha; No one feels the death of a man more than his wife, and no one feels the death of a woman more than her hushaud. No one feels the death of a man more than his wife, as it is said (Ruth 1, 3) Thereupon died Elimelcch, Naomi's husband; and no one feels the death of a woman more than her husband, as it is said (Gen. 48, 7) And as for me, when I came from Padan, Rachel died by me.