Musar su Proverbi 26:28

The third section: The flatterer who praises the evildoer to his face, yet his wisdom restrains him - for he does not praise him in front of [other] people, lest he be a stumbling block for them. The sin of this flatterer is also great, as he blandished him in his eyes; such that he will not repent from his evil path and not worry about his iniquities - for he is righteous in his eyes. And when they praise anyone who is not from the congregation of the righteous - he will say in his heart, “Indeed, I knew that it was like this''; like the matter that is stated (Proverbs 11:9), “The flatterer destroys his neighbor through speech; but through knowledge, the righteous is rescued.” The explanation is that the flatterer destroys his neighbor with his mouth, because he will praise him and [the neighbor] will believe [his] words. So he will harden his spirit and he will see himself with honor, and not understand that his soul is murky. And with this stumbling block in his hand, he will fall into the trap of his pride. So behold, he surely destroyed him with his flattering lips. “But through knowledge, the righteous is rescued”: The righteous are saved from the damage of the flatterer through their knowledge. For if he flatters him, his heart will not be elevated as a result, like our Rabbis said (Niddah 30b), “Even [if] all of the world says about you, ‘You are righteous’ - be like an evildoer in your [own] eyes.” And they [also] said (Avot D’Rabbi Natan 29), “If you have companions, some of whom praise [you], and some of whom reprimand [you] - love the ones that reprimand you, and hate the ones that praise [you]. For these are bringing you to life eternal, and those, when they praise you, are gladdening you to your [own] detriment." And it is also possible to explain [it as]: “Through knowledge, the righteous rescue” their neighbors - as they will not flatter them; but will rather reprimand them and show them the path, when they err in the chaos that is not a path. And it is stated (Proverbs 26:28), “and a flattering mouth throws one down.” This compares a flattering mouth with a crooked path; and it says that just like a man falls and is thrown down by walking on a crooked path - like the matter that is stated (Psalms 35:5-6), “Let them be as chaff, etc., the Lord’s angel throwing them down. Let their path be dark and slippery” - so too does a man fall and get thrown down by a flattering mouth. And that is the mouth of the flatterer. And about the matter that we are discussing, King David, peace be upon him, said (Psalms 12:4), “May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, every tongue that speaks arrogance.” He cursed a flattering mouth, since he destroys his neighbor with it; and a harsh tongue - which is the opposite of the smooth [one], and that is evil speech. And among the flatterers, there are those that intend to flatter intimidating people, in order that they should honor them and promote them. And our Rabbis said (Avot D’Rabbi Natan 29), “Anyone that flatters his fellow for the sake of honor will in the end be removed from it in shame.”

King Solomon, peace be upon him, also said (Proverbs 26:28), “A lying tongue does a dakav hate.” The explanation is that a humble, contrite and lowly person hates a lying tongue - he will not seek it nor listen to it. For a humble person desires people’s worth, and is pained by their embarrassment and disgrace. The [letter,] vav, is in place of a hay in the root, like the vav, in [the word,] anav. And some explain [the verse as,] someone with a lying tongue will hate those who make him contrite and reprimand him, so he will not bring them more evil slander against people. And behold we have been warned by that which is written (Exodus 23:1), “You must not carry false rumors,” not to believe in our hearts the telling of evil speech - to hold in our thoughts that the things are true, such as to demean in our eyes the one about whom it is spoken.

But as for the righteous man, if a man praises him, he will not be proud of this, because our Sages said, "Even if all the world says, concerning you, that you are righteous, be in your own eyes like a wicked man" (Niddah 30b). And they said, "If you have friends, some of whom praise you, and some of whom correct and rebuke you, love the ones that rebuke you, and hate the ones that praise you, for the ones that rebuke you are conducting you to life eternal, and those who praise you will rejoice in your misfortune even though they praise you" (Abot de R. Nathan, 29). And it is said, "And a flattering (smooth) mouth worketh ruin" (Prov. 26:28). Scripture has likened a smooth mouth to a smooth (slippery) path, for just as a man will fall and be thrust down if he walks upon a slippery path — as it is said, "The angel of the Lord thrusting them, let their way be dark and slippery" (Ps. 35:5-6) — so will a man be thrust down and fall by a smooth mouth, which is a flattering mouth filled with sin. And concerning this it is said, "May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that speaketh proud things" (Ps. 12:4). He has cursed the smooth mouth, for with it a man destroys his friends, and he has also cursed the hard tongue that carries gossip which is the opposite of the smooth tongue.