Midrasz do Rodzaju 28:9

And these are the names of the Sons of Israel that came into Egypt with Yaakov, every man came with his household – There it is written (Mishlei 13, 24): “He who spares the rod hates his son; but he who loves him disciplines him in his youth.” Ordinarily in the world, if a person says to his friend: “So-and-so hit your son”, he would be ready to reduce his livelihood. And why is it taught “ He who spares the rod hates his son”?! In order to teach you, that anyone who refrains from disciplining his son in the end causes him to fall into evil ways and will hate him. This is what we have found with Yishmael, who behaved wickedly on Avraham his father but did not rebuke him, with the result that he fell into evil ways and he hated him and he left from his house with nothing. What did Yishmael do when he was fifteen years old? He started to bring idols from the market and he would play with them and worship them as he had seen others do, immediately (Bereishit 21, 9) “And Sarah saw the son of the Egyptian Hagar that she had given birth for Avraham was fooling around etc…” And there is no fooling except for idol worship, like that it says (Shemot 32,6): And they rose up to fool around. Immediately (Bereishit 21,10): And she said to Avraham , Send out this maid-servant and her son, perhaps my son will learn from him. Immediately, (Bereishit 21,11) And this thing was very bad in the eyes of Avraham etc...on account of his son because he had become evil. (Bereshit 21,12) And G-d said to Avraham, do not let it be evil in your eyes etc... From here you can learn, that Avraham was secondary to Sarah in prophecy, following on, (Bereishit 21,14): And Avraham got up in the morning and he took bread and a bottle of water, to teach you, that he hated Yishmael because of his evil ways, and sent him and his mother Hagar empty-handed and expelled them from his house because of this. Do you really think that Avraham, of whom it is written (Bereishit 13,2): And Avraham was very rich in cattle etc... that he would send his wife and his son from his house empty-handed, without clothes or means of a livelihood?! Rather, this is to teach you, since he turned evil, he stopped thinking about him. What was his end? After he had been expelled, he sat at the cross-roads and was a bandit, as it says (Bereishit 16,12): And he was a wild man. And similar to this (Bereishit 25,28): And Yitzchak loved Esav, therefore he turned to evil ways, because he was not rebuked, like we were taught: Five transgressions the evil Esav transgressed on that day: He seduced an engaged lady, and killed a man, denied resurrection, and rejected the fundamentals of religion and spurned his birthright, that he desired the death of his father, and sought to kill his brother, as it says (Bereishit 27,41):May the days of mourning for my father be brought close etc.. And he forced Ya'acov to flee from his father. And he even went with Yishmael, to learn from his evil ways and to add to his wives, as it says (Bereshit 28,9): And Esav went to Yishmael. Similarly with David, that he did not rebuke or chastise his son Avshalom, he turned to evil ways and sought to kill his father, and he lay with concubines, and becoming the cause if his wandering, bare-footed and crying, and many thousands and myriads of Israelites were slaughtered, and he caused much suffering upon them which did not end. As it is written (Psalms 3,1): A song of David, when he fled from Avshalom his son, just as it was written after (Psalms 3,2) How great in number have my enemies become etc. And cultural evil is harsher on one's home than the war of Gog and Magog, for regarding the war of Gog and Magog it says: (Tehilim 2:1) "Why do the nations stir?" and later it is written: (Tehilim 3:2) "God, how many my enemies are!" And similarly David behaved with Adoniyah, he did not beat him in punishment, and did not get angry at him, and therefore he left to cultural evil, as is written: (Kings 1 1:6) "And his father never scolded him...and she bore him after Avshalom." Wasn't Avshalom the son of Maacha, while Adoniyahu was the son of Chagit? What does it mean, "she bore him after Avshalom"? Instead- since he [Avshalom] left to cultural evil, and his father never beat him, and it is written about Adoniyahu "his father never scolded him," he too left to cultural evil, and therefore it is written: "and she bore him after Avshalom." (Proverbs 13:24) "But he who loves him disciplines him in his youth" refers to the Holy Blessed One, who loves Israel, as it is written (Malachi 1:2) "I have loved you, says God," who increases their suffering. One can find three good gifts that the Holy Blessed One gave to Israel, and they were each given only by means of suffering: the Torah, the Land of Israel, and life in the World to Come. The Torah, as it is written: (Psalms 94:12) "How lucky is the man who You discipline, God, and to whom You teach Your Torah." The Land of Israel, as it is written: (Deuteronomy 8:5) "Bear in mind that the LORD your God disciplines you just as a man disciplines his son." What is written next? (Deuteronomy 8:7) "For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land..." The World to Come, as it is written: (Proverbs 6:23) "For the commandment is a lamp, the teaching is a light, and the way to life is the rebuke that disciplines." And when anyone rebukes his son, the son increases his love for his father, and he honors him, as it is said: (Proverbs 29:17) "Discipline your son and he will give you peace." And it says: (Proverbs 19:18) "Discipline your son while there is still hope." And he increases his love for him, as it says: "But he who loves him disciplines him early," meaning because he disciplines him early, therefore he loves him. You find that Abraham disciplined Isaac his son and taught him Torah and guided him in his ways, as is written about Avraham: (Genesis 26:5) "In return for Avraham's obedience to my voice" and it is written: (Genesis 25:19) "These are the descendants of Isaac, son of Abraham," which teaches you that he was similar to his father in all ways- in beauty, in wisdom, in wealth, and in good deeds. You should know that he [Isaac] was thirty-seven years old when his he was bound by his father, and it is written: (Genesis 24:1) "And Abraham was old, advanced in age" and yet he bound him and positioned him like a lamb, and he did not refuse. Therefore: (Genesis 25:5) "Abraham gave all that he had to Isaac," Which is to say, "he who loves him disciplines him early." In the same manner, Isaac would discipline Jacob early, for Isaac taught him Torah and disciplined him in his house of study, as it says: (Genesis 25:27) "but Jacob was a mild man who stayed home." And he learned what his father taught him, and then he separated from his father and hid in the house of Ever to study Torah. Therefore he merited blessing and inherited the land, as it says: (Genesis 27:1) "Jacob lived in the land of his father's residence, in the land of Canaan." And even our Patriarch Jacob disciplined his sons, and beat them and taught them his ways, so that none of them would be disposable, as it is written: (Exodus 1:1) "These are the names of the sons of Israel who arrived to Egypt..." The verse equates them all to Jacob, for they were all righteous as he had been. This resolves: "But he who loves him disciplines him early."

Another example of this is stated in Scripture: Now Isaac loved Esau (ibid. 25:28). Apparently, Esau went astray because his father failed to chastise him. As we have learned, the wicked Esau committed five transgressions in one day: he slept with a betrothed maiden, killed a man, denied the concept of resurrection, rejected the essential principle of religion (i.e., became an atheist), and despised the birthright. All of these transgressions are indicated either specifically in verses in Scripture or by analogy with other verses in Scripture (gezerah shavah). Furthermore, he longed for his father’s death, so that he might slay his brother, as it is said: Let the days of mourning for my father be at hand, then will I slay my brother, Jacob (Gen. 27:41). He compelled Jacob to flee from his father’s house, while he went to Ishmael’s home to learn evil ways from him, and to add to the number of his wives, as it is said: So Esau went unto Ishmael, and took unto the wives that he had Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham’s son (ibid. 28:9).

Our forefather Jacob was 63 when he was blessed. Ishmael died at that time as is written, "Esau saw that Isaac had blessed...Jacob listened to his father...Esau saw [the Canaanite women] were bad [in the eyes of Isaac]...Esau went to Ishmael..."(Genesis 28:9). There seems no need for the verse to state "sister of Nebaioth." What do we learn from the fact that it says "sister of Nebaioth"? We learn that Ishmael died and Nebaioth [Ishmael's firstborn therefore] married off his sister to Esau. Jacob our forefather hid [from Esau] 14 years in the land of Israel and served Eber. Eber died two years after Jacob went to Aram-Naharaim. [Jacob] left and went to Aram-Naharaim and he was found by the well when he was 77 years old and he was in Laban's house for 20 years: 7 before he married any matriarchs, 7 from when he married in the Matriarchs and 6 years after the 11 tribes and Dinah were born. It comes out that all the tribes were born in seven years besides Benjamin. Each and every one each 7 months. He left Aram-Naharaim and came to Succoth and stayed there 18 months as is written "And Jacob went to Succoth" (Genesis 33:17). He left Succoth and went to Bet El and made 6 new encampments close to the place.

Raba said again unto Rabba bar Mari: "Wherefrom the following people's saying: 'Although the wine belongs to the owner, thanks is nevertheless due to the waiter?'" He answered: "From (Num. 27, 19) And thou shalt lay thy hand upon him; and also (Deut. 34, 9) And Joshua the son of Nun was full of the spirit of wisdom; for Moses had laid his hands upon him," etc. (The whole credit is given to Moses). Raba said again to Rabba bar Mari: "Wherefrom the following people's saying: 'The bad palm will travel to meet a barren can (like meets like)?'" He answered: "This is written in the Pentateuch, repeated in the Prophets, mentioned a third time in the Hagiographa, also learned in a Mishnah and taught in a Baraitha: Pentateuch, the following passage (Gen. 38, 9) And Esau went unto Ishmael; Prophets (Jud. 11, 3) And then gathered themsleves to Yiphthach idle men, and they went out with him; Hagiographa (Ben Sira, 13) Every fowl associates with its kind and man with his equal; Mishnah, "All that is attached to an unclean article is unclean and all that is attached to a clean article is clean." Baraitha: R. Eliezer said: "Not in vain did the gladiator go to the raven, because it is of its kind."

(Ibid., cont.:) BUT RACHEL HAD A LOVELY FORM AND WAS LOVELY TO LOOK AT. Why? Because it is stated (in Prov. 15:30): GOOD NEWS PUTS FAT ON THE BONES. He (Esau) took no action. Rather (in Gen. 28:9): ESAU WENT TO ISHMAEL AND TOOK MAHALATH BAT ISHMAEL < BEN ABRAHAM, THE SISTER OF NEBAIOTH, FOR A WIFE >. Jacob said: Because of the blessings he wanted to kill me; so when I take his wife Leah, who knows if he will leave Mahalath bat Ishmael, come against me, and say: Was it not enough for you to take my birthright and my blessing, that you have taken my betrothed as well! He therefore said to Laban (in Gen. 29:18): I SHALL SERVE YOU SEVEN YEARS FOR < YOUR YOUNGER DAUGHTER > RACHEL. Apart from such a situation, would a man taking a wife leave the older and take the younger?³⁵Since daughters inherit in the absence of sons (Numb. 27:8), the elder daughter would receive the double inheritance of the first-born. See Deut. 21:15-17. Rather < the story is > to teach you that, since Leah was sitting around because of Esau, Jacob said to Laban (ibid.): I SHALL SERVE YOU SEVEN YEARS FOR < YOUR YOUNGER DAUGHTER > RACHEL. Now, when Laban saw that, he said: See here, I am giving away the elder immediately. (Gen. 29:23:) AND, WHEN IT WAS EVENING, HE TOOK HIS DAUGHTER LEAH < AND BROUGHT HER TO HIM >. Jacob said to him: Now were these the terms?³⁶Cf. Gen. R. 70:17. (Gen. 29:25, 26, 28:) DID I NOT SERVE WITH YOU FOR RACHEL? THEN LABAN SAID: IT IS NOT THE CUSTOM IN OUR PLACE…. SO JACOB DID THUS, < AND COMPLETED THE BRIDAL WEEK OF THIS DAUGHTER; THEN LABAN GAVE HIM HIS DAUGHTER RACHEL FOR A WIFE >. He began to love her more than Leah. The Holy One said: Look, I am giving Leah children so that she may be more beloved than Rachel. (Gen. 29:31:) WHEN THE LORD SAW THAT LEAH WAS HATED, HE OPENED HER WOMB.

Esau said to Jacob: Divide all that my father has left into two portions, and I will choose (first), because I am the elder. || Jacob said: This wicked man has not satisfied his eye with wealth, as it is said, "Neither are his eyes satisfied with riches" (Eccles. 4:8). What did Jacob do? He divided all that his father had left as the one part, and the other part was to be the land of Israel and the Cave of Machpelah. What did Esau do? He went to Ishmael in the wilderness in order to consult him, as it is said, "And Esau went unto Ishmael" (Gen. 28:9). Ishmael said to Esau: The Amorite and the Canaanite are in the land, and Jacob trusts (in God) that he will inherit the land, therefore take all that thy father has left, and Jacob will have nothing.