הלכה אויף משלי 22:6

And know that even if he heard his young son and daughter speaking lashon hara, it is a mitzvah to rebuke them and to stop them, as it is written (Mishlei 22:6): "Guide the youth according to his bent, etc.", as it is explained in Orach Chaim 343:1, in connection with all the issurim in the Torah.

Of what manner is the root of piety? When a man’s heart inclines toward qualities of piety and it is made difficult for him because all mock him and shame him and say things to torment him and recall his former evil deeds, let him not leave his piety because of the scorners, but let him acquire good qualities little by little, day after day: “he that gathereth little by little shall increase” (Prov. 13:11). Concerning this it is stated, “If thou art wise, thou art wise for thyself” (Prov. 9:12). Concerning the scorners it is written “They make a man an offender by words” (Isa. 29:21), i.e., they (the scorners) speak badly about those who perform the commandments. It is a great sin to say to a penitent, “Remember thy former deeds”¹Baba Metzia 58b. after he has evidenced through good deeds his desire to acquire the qualities of piety. He is not disturbed by the laughter of the scorners. Those that recall his former deeds are regarded as if closing the door to the penitent. And let him say to himself that his being shamed will be counted for him as a great merit and as righteousness.²Berakoth 12b. And the pure fear of God enters his heart and purifies his heart and body of all evil because he will be aided from heaven to be strengthened in the fear of God. And so they said, “He who comes to be purified is assisted from heaven.”³Shabbath 104a. And they prepare for him to make full repentance, for the doors of repentance are not shut.⁴Midrash Tehillim, ed. Solomon Buber (Wilna: Romm Publisher, 1891), p. 313. And precept leads to precept,⁵Aboth 4:2. and now as the man enters through the doors of repentance he will pray day and night before his Creator that He rescue him from Divine Justice and there occur no stumbling through himself. And to the extent that a man treads in his piety and has no inclination to turn aside from his meritorious way—for it is upright in his sight—so the Master of Uprightness will lead him in the upright path. And thus David said, “Good and upright is the Lord; therefore doth He instruct sinners in the way. He guideth the humble in justice; and He teacheth the humble His way” (Ps. 25:8). And as he enters piety with difficulty so will it be the more difficult for him to leave his good way because of shame, because people might say, thus is it now known that this man strives for outward appearances only⁶Samuel 16:7. and in order to deceive people he has feigned piety, and it is forbidden to deceive people, even a gentile.⁷Hullin 94a. And because piety is difficult to achieve initially it is good to start during youth, as it is written, “Remember then thy Creator in the days of thy youth” (Eccl. 12:1); “and even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). For the repentance of an old man, when he is aged and the desires are gone, resembles a man indulging in slander with his tongue gone and he speaks no more. But when a man returns while yet in his strength and might and his passion threatens to make itself master over him and he subdues it, this sort of repentance is the most praiseworthy. And a mighty act he performs indeed through controlling his intense and strong passion. Concerning this it is said, “and he that ruleth his spirit (rather) than he that taketh a city” (Prov. 16:32). And for each matter which is difficult for the individual but which he nevertheless accomplishes, his reward is very great.⁸Aboth 5:26.

The essence of piety is to apply oneself constantly to things, where his passions are most challenging, such as evil gossip, the evil inclination, vanities, not to speak falsely, not to stare at women or speak of worldly curiosities or walk about idly; implicit in all this is evil passion. Thus he should not swear at all, nor invoke God’s name in vain, and so in all similar matters that go on constantly, where his passion overpowers him and he cannot withstand (he will be able to resist) only if he has been trained from childhood. Therefore let a man train his children in these matters while they are yet small and when they grow old they will not forsake them or set them aside; as it is written, “And even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). Take, for example, tallith and phylacteries, many men of quality wish to garb themselves with fringes and put on the phylacteries but refrain from doing so because of embarrassment; however all matters in which a man is trained (to do so) in childhood, when he grows up and attempts to forsake (them) it will be as difficult for him as death. But if a man strengthens himself in Torah and commandments and good deeds, then it becomes difficult for him to depart from them because of the embarrassment; people will say all that he has done so far has been to deceive people, as has been mentioned. He is called hasid, which is derived from hasadim (kindness).¹The term hasid used to describe the pious and saintly, derives from the Hebrew word hesed, meaning act of loving kindness. He is also called hasid because of the term hasidah (stork) (Deut. 14:18) which Onkelos translates huraitha (white bird). And it is written, “not now shall he be ashamed, neither shall his face now wax pale” (Isa. 29:22), which has the meaning of insult and shame that if they insult him and cause his face to become white and he like one deaf can not hear and like a mute does not open his mouth and does not insult anyone, then he is called pious.²Midrash Tehillim, ed. Buber, p. 123. And in the hereafter his face will shine brightly and he will succeed to sit in the seven classes of righteous men who will receive the Shekhina and enjoy the Divine Glory.³Midrash Rabbah (New York-Berlin: Horeb Publishers, 1924), Leviticus, Chapter XXX, p. 81a. As it is written, “Arise, shine for thy light is come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee etc…. But upon thee the Lord will arise and His glory shall be seen upon thee. And nations shall walk by thy light and kings by the brightness of thy rising” (Isa. 60:1-3). These seven classes enjoy Divine Glory.