Midrasch zu Mischlej 22:27

R. Jochanan (and according to others, R. Elazar), said: "The wife of a man does not die [frequently] unless he is requested to pay [his donation] and has not to pay, as it is said (Prov. 22, 27) If thou have nothing to pay, why should he take away thy bed from under thee?" R. Jochanan said again: "To him whose first wife dies, it is as if the Temple had been destroyed in his days, as it is said (Ezek. 24, 10) I will take away from thee the desire of thy eyes, etc., and (Ib.) And when I had spoken unto the people in the morning, my wife died at evening; and (Ib. 21) I will profane my sanctuary, the pride of your strength, the desire of your eyes." R. Alexandrai said: "To him whose wife dies, the world around him is dark, as it is said (Job 18, 6) The light becometh dark in his tent, and his lamp will be quenched above him." R. Jose b. Chanina said: Also his steps become shortened, as immediately it reads: The steps of his strength shall be narrowed. And R. Abahu said: "Also his advice is no more of use; as the end of the verse cited reads: And his own counsel shall cast him down." Rabba b. b. Chana said in the name of R. Jochanan: "Joining couples is as difficult as the dividing of the Red Sea, as it is said (Ps. 68, 7) God places those who are solitary in the midst of their families: He bringeth out those who are bound unto happiness. Do not read Motzi Assirim (bringeth out those who are bound), but read it K' motzi Assirim (like bringing out those who are bound). Do not read Bakosharoth (into happiness), but read B'chi V'shiruth (weeping and singing); i.e., at the Red Sea they wept first and then sang." Is this so? Has not R. Juda said in the name of Rab: "Forty days before the embryo is formed, a heavenly voice goes forth and says: 'This and that daughter to this and that son.'" This is not difficult to explain. The latter deals with the first marriage, and the former with the second marriage. R. Samuel b. Nachman said: "For everything there may be an exchange, but not for the wife of one's youth, as it is said (Is. 54, 6) And as a wife of one's youth that was rejected." R. Juda taught to his son, R. Isaac: "One can find pleasure only in his first wife, as it is said (Prov. 5, 18) Thy fountain will be blessed; and rejoice with the wife (Ib. b) of thy youth." "Whom do you mean?" his son asked, and he answered: "Your mother." Is that so? Did not R. Juda teach to R. Isaac his son (Ecc. 7, 26) And I find as more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, etc? And the latter asked him: "Who, for an example?" He answered: "Like your mother." True, she was irascible, but was easily appeased with a word. R. Samuel b. Unya said in the name of Rab: "A woman [unmarried] is an unfinished vessel, and she makes a covenant with [cares for] none but him who made her a vessel; as it is said (Is. 54, 5) For thy husband is thy master," etc. There is a Baraitha; No one feels the death of a man more than his wife, and no one feels the death of a woman more than her hushaud. No one feels the death of a man more than his wife, as it is said (Ruth 1, 3) Thereupon died Elimelcch, Naomi's husband; and no one feels the death of a woman more than her husband, as it is said (Gen. 48, 7) And as for me, when I came from Padan, Rachel died by me.

(Ib. b) We are taught that R. Nathan says: "As a punishment for not fulfilling vows, the wife of the man dies, as it is said (Pr. 22, 27.) If thou have nothing to pay, why should He take away thy bed from under thee?" Rabbi says: "For the sins of [unfulfilled] vows children die when still young, as it is said (Ecc. 5, 5.) Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy body to sin, etc. Why should God be angry because of thy voice, and destroy the work of thy hand? We must say that this refers to the sons and the daughters of man." There is a difference of opinion between R. Chiya b. Abba and R. Jose; one said: "The sin of not having Mezuzoth is the cause of children's death," and the other said: "The sin of being remiss in the study of the Torah is the cause of children's death." The one who laid the affliction to the sin of Mezuzoth, holds that a passage can be connected with another one preceding it and thus explained, but not with a passage that comes before the preceding one; and the one that laid the affliction to the sin of being remiss in the study of the Torah, holds that passage can be connected even with one that comes before a preceding passage, and thus explained. There is also a difference of opinion between R. Meier and R. Juda. One said: "It (the death of children) is due to the sin of Mezuzoth," while the other said: "It is due to the sin of Tzitzith." It is right according to him who said it is due to the sin of Mezuzoth, for it is written (Deu. 11, 20.) And thou shalt write them upon the doorposts of thy house, and immediately following is written In order that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied; but according to the one who said it is due to the sin of Tzitzith, what is his reason? R. Cahana, and according to others, Shila Mari, said: "Because it is written (Jer. 2, 34.) Also on the end of thy skirts is found the blood of the souls of the innocent needy ones." R. Nachman b. Isaac said: "The one who says it was due to the sin of Mezuzoth, derives his opinion from this (Ib.) Not while breaking in (thy house) didst thou find them, i.e., making the doors like a breaking in (without a Mezuzah)."

The opinion that Satan denounces any man who dwells in a dilapidated house, and that his account book is opened when he does so, is derived from the Mishnah.⁸Y. Nedarim 1:36d, Y. Shabbat 11:5b. How do we know about the man who vows and does not pay? It is written in Scripture: When thou shall vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not be slack to pay it (Deut. 23:22), and it is written elsewhere: It is a snare to a man rashly to say: “Holy,” and after vows to make inquiry (Prov. 20:25). The words after vows to make inquiry signify that a man’s account book is opened and that angels testify against him by enumerating his sins. R. Samuel the son of Nahman stated: Everyone who borrows and fails to repay brings about the death of his wife, as it is said: If thou hast not wherewith to pay, why should he take away thy bed from under thee? (ibid. 22:27). Moses warned Israel about this, as is written: When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not be slack to pay it; for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee (Deut. 23:22). Why is the word require repeated in this verse (i.e., written in the intensive form, darash yidreshenu)? It teaches us that He will require (i.e. inquire) of him with regard to what he has borrowed, and He will (also) require concerning his other sins, as it says: And after vows to make inquiry (Prov. 20:25).

R. Yannai asserted: The account book of the man who makes a vow which he fails to fulfill is examined in the presence of the Holy One, blessed be He. He asks: Where is that person who made a vow on a certain day? Observe that it is written concerning the time that Jacob went to Aram-naharaim: And Jacob vowed a vow, saying: “If God be with me” (Gen. 28:20). At first He granted his every request. He went there and became wealthy, but when he returned without fulfilling his vow, He turned Esau against him, and Esau sought to kill him. And though Esau took the two hundred she-goats from him, Jacob did not trouble to perform his vow. Whereupon He turned the angel against him and they wrestled together, but still he did not take note, as it is said: And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him (ibid. 32:26). It was Samael, Esau’s guardian angel, who wanted to kill him, as is said: When he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh (ibid., v. 27). When he still was not persuaded to fulfill his vow, the anguish occasioned by Dinah’s experience befell him, as is said: And Dinah went out. When he continued to refrain from carrying out his vow, the tragedy of Rachel’s death occurred, as it is said And Rachel died and was buried (ibid. 35:19). This confirms the opinion of R. Samuel the son of Nahman that one who vows and fails to fulfill his vow brings about the death of his wife, as it is said: If thou hast not wherewith to pay, why should he take away thy bed from under thee? (Prov. 22:27).