Commentary for Ecclesiastes 7:3

Better vexation than levity. If one is pursued by the [Divine] standard of justice, he should not be depressed.¹⁰Alternatively, “better vexation stemming from levity,” i.e., when a situation calls for vexation [e.g., a teacher with his student], it should be only an appearance on the outside of anger, but not an emotional, true feeling, of anger. In the words of the Mesilas Yeshorim [Chapter 11] “any anger shown should be anger of the face and not anger of the heart.” It would have been better for the generation of the flood if the Holy One, Blessed Is He, had showed them an angry countenance because of their sins, rather than the laughter that He laughed with them, for had He shown them a slight expression of displeasure, they would have returned to [do] good.¹¹See Maseches Shabbos 30b. It would have been better for Adoniyahu had his father caused him grief for every sin that he committed, rather than the laughter that he showed him, and for which he was ultimately killed.

“Anger is better than laughter, as with a cross countenance the heart will be bettered” (Ecclesiastes 7:3).
“Anger is better than laughter.” Solomon said: Had [my] father been a little angry at Adoniya, it would have been better for him than the laughter with which the attribute of justice mocked him. Why? It is because “with a cross countenance the heart will be bettered.” Had he shown him a cross countenance, he would have caused him to better his ways. Instead, “his father had never aggrieved him” (I Kings 1:6).³⁸Ultimately, this lead to Adoniya’s attempt to sieze power, and his eventual death. See I Kings chapters 1–2. Likewise regarding Amnon, had David his father been a little angry with him, it would have been better for him than the laughter which which the attribute of justice mocked him. Why? It is because “with a cross countenance the heart will be bettered.” Instead, “Amnon alone is dead” (II Samuel 13:32).
Another matter, “anger is better than laughter” – had the Holy One blessed be He been angry at the generation of the Flood, it would have been better than the laughter with which the attribute of justice mocked them, as it is stated: “Their offspring are established before them” (Job 21:8).³⁹Had the Holy One blessed be He shown them anger, they would have improved their ways, and died in peace with their offspring surrounding them. Another matter, “anger is better than laughter” – had the Holy One blessed be He been angry at the Sodomites, it would have been better than the laughter with which the attribute of justice mocked them, as it is stated: “Their houses are safe, without fear” (Job 21:9).⁴⁰That would have been their plight.

Vexation is better than revelry: Medical men have already indicated that man possesses three souls. One is the vegetative soul; that is to say, just as in the vegetative kingdom (as in grass, plants, and trees) there is a power we call soul, responsible for growth and reproduction, so man possesses a similar power. This soul grows in strength for a specified time. Its main attribute is corporeal desire and it requires the intake of food for its realization. The second soul is the animal soul. It uses the faculties of the five senses and is responsible for the power of motion, moving animal and man from place to place. The third soul, which only man possesses, is referred to as neshamah. This is the faculty of reason that distinguishes between truth and falsehood. The second soul is midway between the other two souls.

The heart is made better. It will reverse man’s heart and cause him to improve his ways.¹²Alternatively, as a result of the drought and retribution inflicted upon the world, the righteous will pray to God for mercy. (Targum)

God endowed man with a rational faculty, which is also referred to as lev in order to actualize every soul's potential in due time. God also provided him with mitzvot to make it possible to maintain everything in proper proportion... Now although the three souls are alluded to by one all-embracing name, we shall distinguish the three different powers of the soul by three specific names: neshamah, ruach, nefesh. This will avoid undue elaboration on the various qualities associated with each of the three souls. Thus the term nefesh refers to man's desire to eat, to be merry, and indulge in sexual pleasures. The name ruach alludes to our sensations that stir feelings for mastery and self-glorification. Neshamah denotes our rational faculties. Saadia made a similar classification of the three souls. It is, moreover, apparent that when the nefesh increases in power, the neshamah becomes weaker and has no strength to resist the power of the nefesh, reintroduced as it is by all the other organs of the body. Hence one who overindulges in food and drink can never acquire wisdom. And when neshamah and ruach get together they overpower nefesh and pave the way for a partial opening of the "eyes" of the neshamah to comprehend the physical but not yet the metaphysical disciplines. The reason for this limitation is due to the power of ruach which strives for mastery and gives rise to the sensation of anger. This is then the implication of the verse: "Vexation is better than revelry, for though the face may be sad, the heart may be glad." (Ecclesiastes 7:3) Sadness of the face refers to vexations, and the "heart" alludes to our rational faculty. Subsequently, when neshamah finally prevails over nefesh with the help of ruach, it becomes necessary for neshamah to be preoccupied exclusively with wisdom in order that with the help of the latter, neshamah will be able to overcome ruach and render her subservient to neshamah. This is the meaning of the verse, "Don’t let your spirit be quickly vexed, for vexation abides in the breasts of fools." (Ecclesiastes 7:9) "For as wisdom grows, vexation grows." (Ecclesiastes 1:18) "Don’t act the wise man to excess." (Ecclesiastes 7:16) For much wisdom increases indignation over the petty vanities of the world and its inhabitants...Thus the apparent contradictions that appear in the Book of Ecclesiastes where the author seems to say one thing in one instance and its opposite another time are only on the surface. The same applies to the Book of Proverbs where the author says: "Do not answer a dullard in accord with his folly" (Proverbs 26:4) and in the following verse: "Answer a dullard in accord with his folly." (Proverbs 26:5) In the Prophets and the Torah, our principal source book, we find similar contradictions, e.g. "There shall be no needy among you" (Deuteronomy 15:4) and later, "For there will never cease to be needy ones in your land." (Deuteronomy 15:11) In reality they are similar provided we apply to them the proper philosophic notions.