Commentaire sur La Genèse 34:12

מהר DOWRY, refers to the Ketuba (the sum settled by the husband on his wife as set forth in the Ketuba — the marriage contract (Genesis Rabbah 80:7).

‘MOHAR’ (DOWRY) ‘UMATAN’ (AND GIFT). Mohar [refers to the bridal gifts given at the time of] the marriage-contract which is given to maidens, as it is written, according to the dowry of virgins,¹²⁹Exodus 22:16. these being the presents which the young men send to the maidens whom they marry. Umatan are garments or silver and gold which the groom sends to her father and her brothers. In Bereshith Rabbah the Rabbis said:¹³⁰80:7. “Mohar is parnon (the wife’s settlement); matan is parapurnon (the additional settlement above the usual dowry),” these being in the language of the Jerusalem Talmud¹³¹Yerushalmi Kethuboth 5:8. “the regular dowry” and “the usufruct estate,” that is to say, that which he gives her of his properties to be accounted as if she had brought them from her father’s house, the produce of which belongs to him.
The reason for this conciliatory gesture is in order that they willingly give her to him as a wife, as the maiden did not consent to him and she steadily protested and cried. This is the sense of the verse, And he spoke comfortingly unto the damsel.¹³²Verse 3 here. Therefore Shechem said, Take me this young maiden to wife,¹³³Verse 4 here. as she was already in his house and in his power, and he feared not her brothers because he was the prince of the country and how could they take her by force out of his house? Now Shechem’s great desire was because the maiden was very beautiful. However, Scripture did not narrate her beauty as it did in the case of Sarah, Rebekah and Rachel because it did not want to mention that which was to her a stumbling-block of iniquity,¹³⁴Ezekiel 18:30. while Scripture speaks only in praise of the righteous women but not of this one. Similarly, Scripture does not mention what happened to her after her rescue from Shechem’s house. In line with the simple meaning of Scripture she stayed with her brothers, “shut up, living as widows,”¹³⁵See II Samuel 20:3. as she was considered defiled in their sight, as it is written, Because he had defiled Dinah their sister.¹³⁶Verse 13 here. Our Rabbis have differed on this matter.¹³⁷Bereshith Rabbah 80:10. The most feasible opinion is that of he who says¹³⁷Bereshith Rabbah 80:10. that Simeon took her, and upon her death, he buried her in the land of Canaan, this being in agreement with what we have said, i.e., that she was with him in his house as a widow, and she went down with them to Egypt, and there she died but was buried in the Land of Israel. Her grave is known by tradition to this day as being in the city of Arbel with the grave of Nitai the Arbelite.¹³⁸Aboth 1:7. He was a leader of the Sanhedrin in the early days of the Hasmoneans. As for Dinah’s grave being near that of Nitai the Arbelite, see my Hebrew commentary, p. 190, for data from other medieval itinerants. Ramban’s testimony though is that of an eye-witness when he travelled through the land. It is possible that Simeon brought up her remains from Egypt out of pity for her while the Israelites were still in Egypt or that the children of Israel brought them up together with the bones of her brothers — all the tribes — just as our Rabbis have mentioned.¹³⁹Mechilta, Exodus 13:19.

הרבה עלי מאד, as a penance he would be prepared to pay over and above the customary amount of a dowry.

הרבו עלי מאד מוהר ומתן, “demand of me much dowry, etc.” All these conciliatory offers were designed to have Yaakov’s family agree to Dinah being married to Shechem of her own free will, seeing she was already captive in the house of Shechem, and Shechem and Chamor had no reason to fear that she would be kidnapped. They only wanted a willing bride instead of an unwilling one. This is also the reason why the Torah reports that Shechem “talked to the heart of the girl.” (verse 3)