Musar su Genesi 37:35

We can now better understand Jacob mourning for his son Joseph, and his refusal to be comforted (37, 35). Tractate Sofrim 21 teaches that one does not accept תנחומים, condolences, for the living. It is a Heavenly decree that twelve months after his death, a person is apt to recede in one's memory to the point where one forgets him. In view of this people ask how could Jacob fail to have remained aware that Joseph was alive, since he, Jacob could not be reconciled to his loss? [In a gloss the author mentions something he has heard about this problem in the name of the famous פוסק Rabbi Moses Isserlis. He explained the matter על פי הפשט, according to the plain meaning of the text. During the first year of Joseph's absence, Jacob mourned him in the manner one mourns a deceased person for he was convinced that Joseph was dead. When the year had passed and he found himself unable to be consoled, he realized in retrospect that the news of Joseph's disappearance had never meant that Joseph was dead. Since Joseph had failed to return after all this time, Jacob had to assume that he had died in the interval. He kept thinking along that line for many years. The whole matter of "forgetting" the deceased has to do with the tradition that the soul of the deceased "commutes" between Heaven and earth during the first twelve months after the body's death. After that, seeing that the soul has severed contact with earth, the deceased recedes into the remoter regions of the memory of his next-of-kin. To sum up: Jacob had accepted comfort regarding the terrestrial dimension of Joseph's death. He had not, however, accepted condolences regarding the demise of the spiritual dimension of Joseph.]

The message of the Midrash is clear. While our activities may appear as hurling the world towards destruction, G–d may utilise these very activities to further His plans. Even Jacob, who mourned Joseph and was inconsolable, and who prophesied that he would descend to the grave still mourning for his son (37, 35), did not realise that Joseph's fate was the catalyst that triggered positive historic developments. The same was true for Reuben who mourned Joseph's disappearance from the pit and his share of the responsibility. Jeremiah teaches us in the above quoted passage that we cannot evaluate the true significance of step by step historical developments until the whole cycle has been completed.