Musar su Proverbi 18:21

There is yet another general tikkun distinctive for the trait of lashon hara, and that is Torah study, as stated in Arachin 15b: "R. Chamma b. R. Chanina said: 'What is the amendment for the speakers of lashon hara? If he is a Torah scholar, let him occupy himself with Torah, as it is written (Proverbs 15:4): 'The healer of the tongue is the tree of life,' and the tree of life is none other than Torah, as it is written (Ibid. 3:18): 'It [Torah] is a tree of life to those who hold fast to it.'" As to its being called "a tree of life" — "Death and life are in the hand of the tongue" (Ibid. 18:21). If so, one who speaks lashon hara acquires for himself eternal death, wherefore Scripture counseled one who wished to heal his tongue to eat from the tree of life, which is Torah, "and he shall eat [thereof] and live forever."

Chazal have also been very specific in their holy language in the term "in this world" [("What is the craft of a man in this world? Let him make himself mute, etc.")] That is, let a man not think: "I have already been habituated to this ["muting"] for more years than a craftsman to his craft, and I no longer need to devote my eyes and my heart to it so much" — wherefore Chazal have taught us that this is not so; but a man must train himself in this craft of making himself a natural mute all the days of his life, as the GRA has written in Alim Litrufah: "And until the day of his death a man must chastise himself, not with fasts and mortifications, but by putting a rein to his mouth and his lusts. And this is tshuvah [repentance], and this is all the fruit of the world to come, as it is written (Mishlei 6:23): 'For a mitzvah is a lamp; and Torah, light, and the chastisements of mussar [moral discipline], the way of life.' This is [worth] more than all the fasts and mortifications in the world. And Scripture states (Psalms 34:13-15): 'Who is the man who desires life, who loves days to see good? Guard your tongue from evil, etc.' And in this way all of his sins will be forgiven and he will be saved from the depths of Sheol, as it is written (Mishlei 21:23): 'One who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from suffering,' and (Ibid. 18:21): 'Death and life are in the power of the tongue.' Woe unto him who puts himself to death for one particle of speech. And what advantage is there to the man of the tongue?"

One who is habituated to silence escapes many transgressions — flattery, levity, lashon hara, falsehood, and insult. For if someone shames and insults him, if he answers him, he will get a double portion. And thus does the wise man say: "I hear evil and keep silent." The other: "Why?" The wise man: "If I answer and retort to my shamers, I fear that I will hear insults more biting than the others!" Also, if one cultivates the trait of silence, everyone feels free to share his secrets with him. Since he is not disposed to speaking, he will not reveal them. In addition, he is not given to rechiluth. In this connection it is written (Mishlei 18:21): "Death and life are in the hands of the tongue." For a man does more [damage] with his tongue than with his sword. For [through scandal] a man can stand here and deliver his friend, who is far from him, to death, whereas the sword kills only at close range. Therefore, a man was created with two eyes, two ears, and two nostrils, but [only] with one mouth, to teach him to minimize speech.

And when people are not careful with their tongues about the honor of Torah scholars - whether in front of them or not in front of them - they turn into [those categorized as] heretics (apikorsim), who do not have a share in the world to come. And likewise, is not the destruction of the four groups (see Sota 42a) from the sin of their mouth and the word of their lips? It is all like it will be explained in this chapter. Therefore it is written (Proverbs 18:21), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

And consider how great is the sin of a man who speaks evil speech: Is their sin that they have sealed their lips and quieted their tongues from speaking words of Torah not big enough for them; that they surely [use them to] destroy with evil speech? And King David, peace be upon him, said (Psalms 119:23), “Though princes meet and speak against me, Your servant speaks out Your laws.” The explanation is that they are still from speaking out Your laws and speak evil speech and speak against me, while I am still speaking out Your laws. And our Rabbis said (Arakhin 15a) [that] the cure for evil speech - to save oneself from it - is to be involved with the Torah; as its stated (Proverbs 15:4), “A healing tongue is a tree of life,“ And this is [the meaning of] what is stated (Psalms 39:2), “I would keep my mouth muzzled, etc.” And our Rabbis, may their memory be blessed, explained (Midrash Tehillim 39) that the muzzle is involvement with Torah. And our Rabbis said (Yalkut Shimoni on Nach 721), “The Congregation of Israel is beloved by her voice and hated by her voice: She is beloved by her voice, as it is stated (Song of Songs 2:14), ‘let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet.’ And she is hated by her voice, as it is stated (Jeremiah 12:8), ‘she raised her voice against Me; therefore I have hated her.’” And this is [the meaning of] what is stated (Proverbs 18:21), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue; those who love it will eat its fruit.” And its explanation is: “Those who love it will eat its fruit” - and one who loves the tongue, and that is a man that always wants to talk, for him the proper counsel is that he should, “eat its fruit.” That is, he should not speak idle words but rather words of Torah, wisdom and ethics and the bringing of peace between a man and his fellow; justify the [actions of] the masses; praise the good; disparage the evil; and be zealous about the truth. For there is no end to the merits that he can acquire for himself with his tongue. And [it is] as we discussed earlier, that life is in the tongue.

I reiterate my request that you guide your sons and daughters with words of kindness and Mussar that will find a place in their heart. This is true especially if we merit to arrive in Eretz Yisrael, because one must be extra cautious to follow Hashem's ways there. Therefore, train them well, since one must work hard on one's speech and character traits, and only through good habits can we control ourselves (Shaarey Teshuvah). All beginnings are hard (Mechilta Yisro). But afterwards, one is worthy of praise (Mishlei 20:14). For the wicked person knows that he is taking the wrong path, but it is hard for him to change. But this is man's main task, not to go after his desires, but (Tehillim 32:9) "to restrain himself with a bit and bridle when he is being groomed." Man must deprive himself until he dies, not by fasting or asceticism, but by controlling his mouth and desires. This is teshuvah. And this is the whole reward of the World-to-Come, as it is written (Mishlei 6:23): "For the commandment is a lamp and the Torah is a light" - but "the way to life is the rebuke that disciplines." And that is worth more than any amount of fasting and self-affliction! For every second that man controls his tongue, he merits some of the "hidden [by Hashem for the righteous] light," something which no angel or [other] creature can imagine (Midrash). And it is stated (Tehillim 34:13,14): "Who is the man who desires life, and loves days that he may see good? Guard your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceitfully." This will atone for any sin and save one from Gehinnom, as we find (Mishlei 21:23): "He who guards his mouth [from too much eating and drinking] and tongue [from idle words] guards himself from trouble." Also (ib. 18:21): "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Woe to one who gives away his life for one word! Then what advantage is there to one who has a tongue (see Koheles 10:11)? And, "Everything has a cure except, etc." It is most important to refrain from speaking words of praise about anyone. How much more so does this apply to speaking ill of anyone! Why must one speak about others? "The mouth that speaks strangely is a deep pit; he who angers Hashem falls into it" (Mishlei 22:14).

Then too, if a person is silent, others can reveal secrets to him, for inasmuch as he is not accustomed to speak much he will not reveal the secret. Moreover, it is not his habit to indulge in gossip, and concerning this it is said, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21), for a man can do more harm with his tongue than he can with a sword. For a man can stand here and yet betray his companion, who is a long distance from him, and cause his death (by his word), while the sword can only slay someone who is near it. Therefore man was created with two eyes, two ears, two nostrils and one mouth to say to him that he ought to speak less. Silence is fitting for the wise, and thus all the more so for fools. "A fence around wisdom is silence" (Aboth 3:13). "There is no better medicine than silence" (Megillah 18a).

As to that which our Sages said, that "One sin quenches a commandment, but one sin does not quench the whole Torah" (Sotah 21a), as it is said, "For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is a light" (Prov. 6:23) — this applies to one who commits a sin by chance, but not to one who completely throws off the yoke of warning against a sin. And our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "The congregation of Israel is beloved for its voice" (Shohar Tov, 39a), as it is said, "Let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice" (Cant. 2:14). And it is also hated for its voice, as it is said, "She hath uttered her voice against Me, therefore have I hated her" (Jer. 12:8). From this we can conclude that "life and death are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21). And it is said, "And those who love her will eat her fruit" (ibid.). This means that one who loves the tongue, that is to say a man who loves to speak constantly, it is worthy and true counsel to him that he should eat of its fruit. In other words, he should not speak idle talk, but should speak words of the Torah, or words that will bring peace, or words that will teach many to do good, and he should teach them the good and keep them far from evil, and to be zealous for the truth, for there is no end to the good deeds that a man may do with his tongue. And this is the meaning of "life and death are in the power of the tongue."

It is written, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that indulge it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Prov. 18:21). There is a story about a king of Persia who became ill, and the doctors said to him, "You cannot be healed until they bring you the milk of a lioness and then we will make you a medicine that will heal you." One of the men present said, "I will bring you the milk of a lioness if you wish, but give me ten goats." The king told his servants to give them to him, and they did so. He went to a pit of lions and there was a lioness there who was giving suck to her young. The first day he stood far off and threw one goat to the lioness and she ate it. The second day he came closer to her a bit and threw her another goat, and thus did he do until he was able to play with the lioness, and he took some of her milk and started back. As he was travelling along the way, he saw in a dream that his limbs were quarrelling with one another. The leg said, "There are no limbs like us, for if we had not gone our master would not have been able to bring the milk." Then the hand said, "There is no one like us, for if we had not done our part, nothing would have happened." The brain said, "There is no one like me! If I had not given counsel, of what use would any of you have been?" Then the tongue said, "There is nobody like me. For if I had not said that we would do this thing, who would have done it?" All the limbs answered, "How dare you compare yourself with us? You are in a place of darkness, and you possess no bone like the rest of the limbs." And the tongue replied to them, "This day will you say that I rule over all of you."