Musar su Proverbi 23:44

2) Very often, when one comes to the synagogue he also learns a chapter of Mishnayoth or a halachah or Ein Yaakov and the like. And our sages of blessed memory have already said (Berachoth 64b): "One who leaves the synagogue and goes to the house of study merits beholding the face of the Shechinah," which is not the case with him who prays alone in his house, who remains without Torah. This abuse is very commonplace in our days, in our many sins, with many mourners who want to bestow merit upon their fathers by making a permanent minyan in their house for the entire one-year mourning period. Immediately after praying each one goes to his house, so that all of those who pray there are left without Torah. This is not at all to the merit of their fathers. The major amendment for the soul of one's father is his son's strengthening himself to learn Torah every day and also to do lovingkindness — just as the major amendment for the atonement of one's sins when he is still alive is through Torah and lovingkindness, as it is written (Mishlei 16:6): "By lovingkindness and truth, sin will be atoned, as our sages of blessed memory have said: "'truth' — this is Torah, as it is written (Ibid. 23;33): 'Buy truth and do not sell it.'" So, the son who wishes to accord merit to his father, his major contribution is Torah and lovingkindness. (See Ahavath Chesed, Chapter XV, where we have elaborated on this.)

The second quality: The pious man gets more pleasure out of his love for his God than he would from all the pleasures of the world. For it is a well-known fact that a man has no greater joy than that derived from his children, as it is said (Proverbs 23:25), “Let thy father and thy mother be glad and let her that bore thee rejoice.” Now, our father, Abraham, peace be upon him, rejoiced greatly in this service of God, blessed be He. His pleasure in the service of God, blessed be He, was mightier than the love of his sons. He sent Ishmael, his son, far away from him because of his great love of God, blessed be He.

ובגדיכם לא תפרומו . The reason that the priests must not rend their garments (10,6) is connected with their function as a sign of honor and dignity. We can apply the treatment to be accorded to these garments to the treatment we must accord to our bodies. The body is the garment of the soul. How much more insulting would it be to the soul if our body, its showpiece, would be torn, i.e. would bear signs of the sins we have committed!

He whose nature is overcome by this disposition is blameworthy, for it leads him to envy, and a noble man is never found to be envious. Books (i.e., of poetry) have been filled with the censure of envy, and every man of intelligence knows how much has been said as to its baseness. It is necessary to turn from it, for frequently the affairs of the envious lead him to use violence. Thus it is said of such as these (Micah ii. 2), "And they covet fields and take them by violence." Enviousness is a loathsome trait. The wise man must keep himself as far from it as he can, for he gains no advantage through it: on the contrary, continued depression and fatigue of the spirit through desires and the constant hatred of men, scantiness of repose, preoccupation of the mind, apprehensiveness and the punishment of God, for transgressing that which He forbade in His revealed Scripture. Man must not be jealous of unrighteous men, because he sees them devote themselves to pleasure and (the gratifying of) passions. But let him employ his zeal in the service of God. Thus the sage said (Prov. xxiii. 17), "Let not thy heart be envious of the sinners." Again he spake (Ps. xxxvii. i), "Be thou not envious against the workers of iniquity."

And they have said further (Ibid. 5a): "All who occupy themselves with the study of Torah remove afflictions from themselves, as it is written (Iyyov 5:7): 'And the sons of reshef will be dispelled by uf,' 'uf' alluding to Torah, as intimated in (Mishlei 23:5): 'If you glance away [hatauf] from it [Torah], it will be gone,' and 'reshef,' [alluding] to afflictions, as in (Devarim 22:29): 'Wasted by hunger, embattled by reshef'" ["reshef," in that it follows 'hunger,' also denoting afflictions]. And, in Tanna d'bei Eliyahu: "If you see afflictions coming against you, run to words of Torah, and, immediately, the afflictions will flee, as it is written (Isaiah 26:20): "Go my people; enter into your chambers [of Torah], etc.'"

Furthermore, he should take great care not to stand in the company of men. And even if he needs something essential, he should not linger there, unless he does not know them to be men among whom there is no forbidden speech. And even if the entire company are good men, and there is found one among them who is a man of malice, he spoils the entire company and it is advisable to leave them, or at least to court silence at that time with all of his strength, as written in Rosh Hagivah: "Take heed, my son, of what was said by King Solomon, may peace be upon him (Mishlei 23:9): 'In the ears of a fool do not speak, for he will shame the wisdom of your words.' Take heed, then, of a gathering of a hundred men if there is among them one fool or one speaker of levity, especially one who is wise in his [own] eyes, who is the true fool, as it is written: 'The fool is wise in his eyes.' Strengthen yourself and sit in silence and speak of nothing in that gathering. For even if you speak all kinds of wisdom, he will triumph over you, and you will take [only] shame for yourself. For thus has Solomon said (Ibid. 11:2): '[The man of] malice comes and shames comes, etc.' And even if you want to speak [privately] with your friend, make sure that you are not heard by that man, even from behind a fence. For this reason it is written 'In the ears of a fool do not speak,' and not 'With a fool do not speak.' This is the voice of experience. I have tried all of this several times at a mitzvah feast and have found it to be true. Therefore, flee, my son, from a gathering like this, for he [the fool] demeans all who are there; or seize silence and be saved."

And the sixth section: The complainer - King Solomon, peace be upon him, said (Proverbs 18:8), “The words of the complainer are like mitlahamim; and they enter the innards of one’s belly.” Its explanation is that a complainer is a man whose way and whose nature is to always complain, get angry and find (movements) [pretexts] about this fellow, regarding his actions and his words - even though his fellow is innocent towards him, and did him no harm in anything. And he judges everything unfavorably, and not favorably; and anything inadvertent he makes volitional. And he surely makes himself like the oppressed and beaten, and as if the sin of his fellow is heavy upon him; whereas he is the hitter and the beater, as his words “enter the innards of one’s belly.” For the one who places complaints in front of his fellow when he did not touch him and only did good to him brings a storm to the heart. And behold he is like one who throws darts that “enter the innards of one’s belly.” The word mitlahamim is [spelled] inverted, [and is as if it were] mithalmim (they are beating); [and like the inversion of] simlah [and] salmah. And it is like the usage (in Proverbs 23:35), “they beat me (halamuni), but I was unaware.” And it is as if he was saying, “It is like the words of the complainer, they are beating me.” And his saying, “They are beating,” in the plural, is because the complainer includes [all] complainers - like (in Jeremiah 11:15), “the sacral flesh will pass away from you” (which is in singular, but refers to the many); [and] (Isaiah 45:8), “triumph sprout.”
King Solomon, peace be upon him, also said (Proverbs 16:28), “and a complainer separates his friend.” He means to say that he separates his friend and his companion from himself, as they cannot endure his friendship. And our Rabbis said (Derekh Eretz Zuta 9), “Do not proliferate complaints, so that you will not come to sin.” And many times, the complainer will be ungrateful for the good and will even consider it bad, so he will return the good with bad. And it is stated (Proverbs 17:13), “He who repays good with evil will not have evil leave his home.” And sometimes he will think about God’s kindnesses, that they are for vengeance and retribution - like that matter that is stated, (Deuteronomy 1:27), “You sulked in your tents and said, ‘It is because the Lord hates us that He brought us out, etc.’” Hence, distance yourself from the path of the complainers, for they have twisted their paths - anyone who walks in it will not know peace. Rather teach your tongue to judge favorably, and justice will be the girdle of your loins.

And, in Midrash Eichah: "When does the kingdom of the idolators make a decree against Israel and succeed in it? When they [Israel] cast words of Torah to the ground, as it is written (Daniel 8:12): 'And a time will be set for the [end of] the daily offering and it [(the idolatrous kingdom)] will throw truth to the ground and it will achieve and prosper.' "Truth" is Torah, as it is written (Mishlei 23:23): 'Buy truth and do not sell it! And it is written (Hoshea 8:3): 'Israel has forsaken truth; the foe will pursue it.' And "good" is nothing other than Torah."

שלא לקרוע המעיל. Rabbi Menachem Ha-Bavli comments on this too. He sees allegorical meaning in the words לפיו סביב in the same verse. The rim, פיו, of the robe which must not be torn is a symbol for the High Priest's mouth. In view of the High Priest's function of restoring harmony between G–d and His people, he, more than anyone else, must be sure not to say anything that could impair the unity or innocence of the people. Every individual who claims to be a servant of the Lord must in this regard conduct himself on the same level as did the High Priest.

G–d has, however, provided a remedy for those Israelites who have become subject to these influences. This remedy is known as תשובה, repentance. Repentance possesses the power to bring such sinners "back into the fold," into the right side of the emanations which represents holiness. This was pointed out by Nachmanides; the relevant verse is 30,11 which refers to repentance. The mystical dimension of repentance is part of the emanation בינה. Students of the Kabbalah are aware that this emanation cannot be accessed by the Gentiles. The latter can access only the emanations from חסד "downwards." Canaanites have access to these lower emanations. Ishmael was sired by Abraham who represented the emanation חסד. Hence Gentiles are able to relate to this emanation. Being offspring of Isaac, who represented the next "lower" emanation גבורה, the descendants of Esau also could access that emanation. Having delineated the above exceptions, the 70 nations can access only the שרים ומזלות which we have already described. The inability of these 70 nations to access the emanations of either חסד or גבורה explains why the touching by members of such nations disqualifies wine, an expression of G–d's bounty. All this because of the pollutant of the serpent which spread through mankind as a result of Eve having squeezed out the fruit of the tree of knowledge (reputedly the grape). It thus became what is termed in our portion (29,17) פורה ראש ולענה, "a fruit turning into poison weed and wormwood." Concerning this type of wine, Solomon (Proverbs 23,31) has said: "Do not look at wine when it is red." Since the emanation בינה is not exposed to the "touch" of the Gentiles, the wine we find in that domain is the kind of which our sages have said that it has been preserved in its original grapes ever since the six days of Creation, in order to be served up to the righteous in the Hereafter (Berachot 34b). This is an allusion to the six "revealed" days of Creation remaining as they are, i.e. accessible to contact by the Gentiles. The six days of Creation known as the days of בנין, the concealed aspect of the work of Creation, serve as an area in which this wine is stored for the eventual enjoyment by the righteous. The penitent must elevate himself to a level that qualifies him to partake of that wine in the future. He is able to burst the confining shackles of the קליפות, symbols of the constraints imposed upon him by the evil urge, so that he can rejoin the mainstream of the Jewish people. The בעל תשובה together with the other righteous will then experience the revelation of G–d's secrets as a result of having partaken of this wine. This is the meaning of Psalms 25,14: "G–d's secrets are reserved for those who fear Him." The numerical value of the word סוד, secret, is 70. It alludes to the 70 who formed the nucleus of the Jewish people who first went down to Egypt. Because they were all a single "person," נפש, they all have a share in the World to Come. It is known to Kabbalists that the emanation בינה is the mystical dimension of the World to Come, a domain where G–d and His Name are One and where a unified people of Israel cleave to Him. It is only the people of Israel who are referred to by the title אדם; by describing the creation of אדם as "in G–d's likeness" (Genesis 1,26), the Torah concurrently refers to the creation of the Jewish people. When we reflect on the respective meanings of אדם and אדמה, earth, we must conjure up in our minds that it is the function of this אדם to serve as the מרכבה, carrier, or better אדמה of G–d's Presence. G–d is perceived as sitting on a throne. The throne is standing on this אדמה, i.e. is supported by אדם, the Jewish people. It follows that any misconduct by Israel in our terrestrial spheres undermines the "floor" on which G–d's throne is based.

Do not be a gourmand and stuff your belly with food, for many illnesses result from overeating.

And then he prospers in all his ways and in clarity of perception and the Holy One Blessed be He sends a spirit of Holiness within him and his heart rejoices and is filled with love of the Holy One, Blessed be He, and his soul is united with joy and reveals secrets and new intepretations from above, and all this because he reveres God, Blessed is He and is upright. And reason enters him. And this is what Solomon said : "My soul failed me when he spoke" (Eccl. 5:16). "Yea my body will rejoice when my lips speak right things" (Prov. 23:16). And thus said David : "Bless the Lord, O my soul" (Ps. 104:1). Because the soul which comes from above and strives upward knowing its own secret loves her Creator and eagerly assimilates His Commands, and when this soul reaches the veil (partition) and the degree which is suitable to it then she causes him (the owner) to rejoice with her hidden charms and brings him delight in her hidden chambers and at every moment his love longs for his soul and remembers it in the night as he lies upon his couch. Then God, Blessed is He, sends into her the longing for joy and the heart burns passionately from the great desire of love as it is said "I will rejoice in the Lord, my soul will be joyful in my God" (Is. 61:10). And happy is the soul that merits and experiences such joy.

Concerning solitude, the main thing is to remain at home. Even your visit to the synagogue should be very short. In fact, it is better to pray at home, for it is impossible to be spared from jealousy or from hearing idle talk or lashon hara in the synagogue. And one receives punishment for this, as we find (Shabbos 33a), "Also one who hears and is silent...." This is even the more so on Shabbos and Yom Tov when they gather to talk - It is then better that you don't pray at all. Refrain also from going to the cemetery (especially women), as it leads to all kinds of sorrow and sin. It is also advisable that your daughter not go to the synagogue, because she'll see beautiful clothes there, become jealous and talk about it at home. This will lead to lashon hara, etc. She should rather cling to Mussar and not become jealous of anything in this world, where everything is vanity and illusions, appearing and disappearing overnight (Yonah 4:10). "Though he grows as high as the sky, his head reaching the clouds, he perishes forever..." (Iyov 20:6,7). "For property does not last forever, or a crown for all generations" (Mishlei 27:24). And even while it exists it is worthless, loathsome and disdained by any sensible person. Woe to him who is impressed by it. Envy only the fear of Hashem (ib. 23:17). She should not say, "How can I earn a share in the World-to-Come? - I can't do it!" For we have learned (Berachos 17a): "One may do much or one may do little, provided he directs his heart to heaven."

The prohibition in the food, as we explained, is literally a poison to the heart and soul. If so, then who among the sensible will be lenient in a situation where there is suspicion of prohibition in the food? On this it is written "and put a knife into your mouth, if you are a person given to appetite" (Mishlei 23:2).

There is another way to intelligently understand how jealousy and lust are very ruinous qualities, and in this vein Solomon said : "Let not thy heart envy sinners, but be in the fear of the Lord all the day" (Prov. 23:17). When a man envies sinners seeing their wealth and prosperity and sees righteous men growing poorer and being sore afflicted, and, from all of this, his soul rejects reverence for God and His judgements, and rejects those who study the Torah and fulfill it, as it is said : "Your words have been all too strong against Me, saith the Lord. Ye have said : 'It is vain to serve God; and what profit is it that we have kept His charge, and that we have walked mournfully because of the Lord of Hosts? And how we call the proud happy, yea, they that work wickedness art built up; yea, they try God and are delivered" (Malachi 3:13-15).

Even though jealousy is a very bad quality, there are instances where it can be a very good quality and, in fact, it can be a most noble quality, — when one envies those who revere God, as it is said : "Let not thy heart envy sinners, but those that fear the Lord all the day…" (Prov. 23:17). And in the same way our Sages said : "that the jealousy of wise men increases wisdom" (Baba Bathra 21a). When one sees another studying, it should excite his envy and he should say "This man studies all day, I shall do the same!" And similarly in the matter of all he commandments. Everyone should envy his companion and try to emulate the good deeds of his companion. If he sees a wicked man who has even one good quality, he should envy him for that and should emulate it. But a man who envies his companion when he sees him occupying himself with Torah and with good deeds and does not envy him in order to emulate him, and does not say to himself, "This man is doing thus; I will also do thus!" but rather thinks in his heart enviously, "Because this companion has more good qualities than I, because of all this he is more honored by men," and then this envious man will plot how to confuse and take his companion away from the study the Torah and good deeds, such envy is a grievous disease, and he who deals in such envy is a sinner and one who causes others to sin. He is truly a partner of Jereboam, the son of Nebat.

The heart is the king and mover of all other parts of the body and the leader over all of them. If the heart does not bring itself to serve Him, blessed be He, the service of the other limbs are worth nothing. For wherever the spirit of the heart goes, they will follow along as scripture states explicitly: "Give your heart to Me my son"(Mishlei 23:26).

One of the means which lead a person to acquire this trait is to prepare oneself for Divine service and mitzvot, namely, to not enter suddenly in performing a mitzva. For then, one's mind is not yet composed and is unable to think on what he is doing. Rather, one should ready himself to the matter and slowly prepare his heart for reflection.

The former two entice the mind and draw it towards ulterior motives, like an adulterous wife who, while still married to her husband, takes other men. Ulterior thoughts are referred to as "lewdness of the heart", as written: "and you shall not stray after your hearts and after your eyes which you go after promiscuously (Zonim)" (Bamidbar 15:39). For the heart strays from the whole aspiration which it should have bonded to, and turns instead to the worthless and imaginary falsehood.

Miserliness is very ugly in all of its manifestations. Concerning the miser, Solomon said, "Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye" (Prov. 23:6).

Only that it is not the efforts (hishtadlut) that help. Rather, the efforts are necessary, but once one has put in some effort, he has already discharged his obligation and there is place for the blessing of Heaven to rest upon him, and he need not consume his days in exertion and labor. This is what king David said: "For not from the east or from the west, nor from... but it is G-d who executes judgment, [putting down one and lifting up another]" (Tehilim 75:7-8), and king Shlomo said: "Do not weary yourself to grow rich; cease applying your understanding" (Mishlei 23:4).

When we examine closely, we will find that Humility is dependent both on thought and deed. For at first, a person needs to become humble in his thoughts and only afterwards, can he conduct himself in the ways of the Humble.

Due to what he lacks: this is evident, for it is impossible for a man, whatever level of perfection he may have reached, to not have many deficiencies, whether due to his nature, or due to his family and relatives, due to certain events that happened to him, or due to his own deeds. For "there is no righteous man on earth who does good and sins not" (Kohelet 7:20). All these are blemishes on a person which allow him no room whatsoever to become haughty. Even if he has attained many virtues, nevertheless these deficiencies are enough to obscure them.

It states, “Do not eat the bread of one with a miserly eye … for it is like poison in his soul” (Mishlei 23:6-7). Most people understand this: “Do not eat the bread of one with a miserly eye, for it is like poison in the soul of the host.” That is, he tries never to give of his bread to others because giving anything away is like poison to him. The Zohar (3:3a), however, gives a different explanation: “Do not eat the bread of one with a miserly eye, for it is like poison in the soul of the guest.” That is, the food that one’s receives from a miser is like poison to the receiver. Moreover, not many days will pass before he actually takes ill, sometimes dangerously so. This is why Rabbeinu HaKadosh (Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi) did not wish to accept food from anyone (Chullin 7b), for he was afraid for his life lest he benefit from a miser and then inevitably take ill. It turns out, then, that the miser causes evil both to himself and to others.

When Israel was freed from the dominance of the angel of death while it received the Torah at Mount Sinai, and lost this freedom due to the sin of the golden calf, the angel Mattatarmolin with the face of an ox took up position on Israel's left, and Satan and the nations of the world started counting the people. Once the sin had been redressed by means of, amongst other things, the ashes of the red heifer, Torah was restored to being perfect, i.e תורת ידוד תמימה, so that even the מלאך רע יענה אמן, the angel that normally negates, portends evil, had to approve of Israel's rehabilitation. When this condition does not exist our situation is reversed and all our adversaries are waiting in the wings to applaud our downfall. In the introduction of Midrash Rabbah on Eichah, we find the comment on Daniel 8,12, וצבא תנתן על התמיד בפשע, "and a set time (army) will be allotted to the daily sacrifice because of sin." צבא means Malchiyut, i.e. dominance by other nations. We know this from Isaiah 24,21, יפקוד ה' על צבא המרום במרום "In that day the Lord will punish the host of heaven in heaven and the kings of earth on earth." The תמיד we referred to in Daniel, is a reference to Israel, since it is written והגית בו יומם ולילה, “occupy yourself with it by day and by night,” i.e. תמיד, constantly (Joshua 1,8). The word בפשע refers to the sin of neglecting Torah. Any time Israel throws Torah to the ground, other nations will prevail over us, since it says ותשלך אמת ארצה "when it throws truth to the ground." We know that אמת, truth, is a reference to Torah: אמת קנה ואל תמכור, "buy the truth, never sell it!" (Proverbs 23,23). If you throw words of Torah to the ground other nations will immediately prevail against you. Confirmation of this is found in Daniel 8,12, ועשתה והצליחה, "it will act and succeed." Since Gentiles do not have Torah, the verse must refer to the Gentiles prevailing over Israel.

Take note of how many angelic emissaries and officers there are and how many misadventures and consequences a mortal is subject to. This is because man was formed from the dust and is destined to return to it. Let a person take all this to heart and consider his end. For one never knows what the day will bring or what the time will cause to pass or even what the very moment has in store for him, as it is stated, “Set your eyes upon it and it is gone” (Mishlei 23:5). The Omnipresent, blessed is He, has many agents with which to afflict a person and he may find himself caught in the trap without any warning. The proof to this is the story of Iyov. He was a God-fearing man who eschewed wrongdoing, yet on account of a minor transgression he was indicted by the Satan and delivered into his hands along with all his children. Then in the blink of an eye his wealth was gone and his children were dead, after which he was stricken with bodily afflictions, as is related in the book that bears his name (chapters 1-2). In his sorrow, Iyov cursed the day on which he was born and spoke harshly towards Heaven. This caused his companions to come and rebuke him, warning him against repudiating his afflictions. For Hashem’s conduct towards a person is always just, in accordance with his own conduct. And when Iyov finally heeded their advice and rebuke it was reckoned a great credit, on account of which his prosperity was renewed and he was blessed with many times more bounty than he enjoyed formerly. All of this was in reward for heeding the call to fear Hashem and improve his ways.