Musar su Proverbi 27:6

THOU shouldst know that he who hates men is hated by them, and when this quality takes firm hold of the soul, it destroys it, because it leads to the hatred of the very food and drink with which man sustains life. Besides, he suffers injury through the hostility of men. When excessive love is expended on other than divine things, it is changed into the most violent hatred. As thou knowest from the expression (II Sam. xiii. 15), "Then Amnon hated her exceedingly." He who loves thee for some reason will turn his back, simultaneously with its disappearance and ending. Thou must not trust in the counsel of the enemy, the "Hater." Thus it is written (Prov. xxvii. 6), "The kisses of an enemy are deceitful." From this quality there branches out fretfulness. Thou knowest how the prevalence of fretfulness has been censured, the blameworthiness which attaches to its use and the repugnance the soul feels therefor.

Chapter 5 - How a person can accustom himself with the trait of kindness (chesed): [Its] essence is love of God - the main entrance for a person to the secret of kindness is to love God with the fullest love, such that he will not leave His service for any reason. [This is] on account of there being nothing at all as beloved to him, relative to his love of Him, may He be blessed. And so, he [should] first fix all the needs of His service; and what remains afterwards will be for other needs. And this love [should] be fixed in his heart. Whether he receives goodnesses from the Holy One, blessed be He, or whether he receives afflictions and upbraidings, he [should] consider them [to be products of His] love for him, as it is written (Proverbs 27:6), "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." And it is as it is [also] written (Deuteronomy 6:5), "and with all your might (meodecah)" - and they explained (Berakhot 54a), "With each and every trait (midah), etc., so as to include all of the traits in Kindness. And it comes out that the secret of His governance is from Kingship (Malkhut); and even as it acts with judgement, it is connected to Kindness. And this is the trait of Nachum, the man of Gamzo, who would say, "This too (Gam zo) is for the good." He wanted to always connect [occurrences] to the side of Kindness that is called good, and [so] he would say, "This too," that appears to be with the 'left' that is connected to Severity (Gevurah), "is" nothing but "for the good," [which is] connected to Kindness. And he would put his mind to the side of the good with this trait and hide its judgments. And this is a great practice, always to connect with Kindness.

Do not believe the counsel of one who hates and is inimical, as it is said: "But the kisses of an enemy are importunate" (Prov. 27:6). And know that many people express love with their words but it is possible that they are total enemies in their heart, and it is necessary that you recognize them and do not put your faith in them as it is said: "He that hates dissembles with his lips while he lays up treachery within him" (Ibid. 26:24). And even though he speaks to you with a smooth tongue and speaks tender words, do not incline your heart to him as it is said: "When he speaks graciously, do not believe him for there are seven abominations in his heart" (Prov. 26:25). And this is the type of conduct that Joab showed to Abner, son of Ner (II Sam. 3:27) and to Amasa, son of Yeter (II Sam. 20:9-10) (peace and love) until he killed them, and as Ishmael son of Nethaniah did with Gedaliah, son of Ahikam until he slew him (Jer. 41:1-2). One of the Sages said: "The best plan of those you can plot against your enemy is to turn him to your love (to make a friend of him) if you can."

Now we understand the meaning of Proverbs 27,6: "Wounds inflicted by a loved one are long lasting; the kisses of an enemy are profuse." Taanit 20a explains this verse by saying that the curse that Achiyah Hashiloni cursed Israel with (Kings I 14,15), was better (more beneficial) than all the blessings that Bileam conferred upon it. Achiyah cursed Israel by referring to it as a "reed in water." Just as such a reed can stand in water, its stem can grow back and develop many roots, so that all the winds of the world will not uproot it, but it will bend in the direction the wind blows until the wind has stopped blowing and resume its original posture, so Israel will recover from such storms. Not so the blessings of Bileam the wicked. He compares Israel to the cedar (24,6). A cedar cannot survive in water, its roots are few, its trunk does not grow back once it has been cut. Even though it is strong enough to resist all the storms in the world, a South wind will dislocate it immediately. Comparing Israel to a cedar was not really a blessing. Not only this, but if need be, one can make a quill from the reed to write a ספר תורה, which cannot be done with the remains of a cedar. So far the Talmud on our subject.