욥기 9:37의 Chasidut

I will now quote the holy words of the Avodas Yisrael (Parshas Chayei Sarah). “Veyih’yu – and they were⁷⁵Bereshis, 13:1 the first word of the parsha. – is the numerical equivalent of ‘zol,’ which means, ‘of little value.’ When a person is broken hearted and embittered over his transgressions, and feels his life is of little value, in particular on the long nights of winter after midnight when he rises and is alone before his Creator, and admits before God that he leads a vain and worthless life, his years passing by like clipper ships on a windy sea,⁷⁶See Iyov, 9:26. that he has not done anything to please God, to the contrary, his actions have been destructive and blemished from head to toe. And the day is short; he can almost feel his encroaching departure from the world, and he has come to stand in judgment for all the moments of his life. In this way he consoles himself, regretting his actions, and cries with a broken heart before his Father in Heaven. Through this he sees himself as worthless and miserable. “Zol – זל” or “of little worth,” is the numerical value of 37, the milui of the name Sa’g.⁷⁷One of the expansions of the Tetragrammaton is יוד הי ואו הי , called Sa”g (ס"ג) as the sum of the ten letters equals 63. The four root letters of God’s name are Yud Hei Vav Hei, but the rest of the letters of Sa”g (such as the vav and dalet after the first Yud) are called the milui, or filling letters. If you take all the filling letters from the name Sa”g and add them up, you get זל, 37. That is to say, he says that his heart is full of impurities.⁷⁸This is a play on words, as impurities, “sigim,” has the letters for “sag,” which is the name of God representing the world of Beriah, which is the genesis of the separation of good and evil. Above Beriyah, in the world of Atsilut, there is no evil and no impuiries, as in Atsilut, “He and his life are one, He and His causations are one.” This is a kabbalistic representation of the idea that the Avodas Yisrael is presenting, namely that the worthlessness (זל) is coming from the beginning of evil and impurity in the world of Beriyah. Indeed, the main purpose of the confession before God (viduy, also equaling 37) is the abandoning of sin and the acceptance of the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven from that day onward. In this way he will not be counted among the wicked who are considered dead while they are alive, but among the righteous who are considered alive even after their body dies. That is to say, for the Tsaddik, every moment of his life he is prepared for that moment when he will depart from this worldly existence in a state of kedushah and purity. This is as the Zohar says, “the Tsaddik always thinks in his heart that today he may be leaving the world.” Indeed, people who led meaningless lives still have a chance to rectify their lot by waking up and doing teshuvah before the sun goes down. And the real sign of teshuvah and earnest regret is when a man remembers his many transgressions and feels his own worthlessness. In this way he receives a resurgence of life energy on account of the coming days when he will sin no more. For this reason Veyih’yu – and these were – is the numerical equivalent of ‘zol,’ of little value. (The verse continues) ‘Chayei Sarah – the lives of Sarah,’ The juxtaposition of the words Veyih’yu (representing worthlessness) and Chayei Sarah, is to show us how one who truly recognizes the meaningless vanity of his life is the one who is called alive. (The verse continues) ‘A hundred years,’ is the mystery of the Crown – (Keser). This follows because after the teshuvah he feels a renewed and revitalized will to serve God, and this new will is called, ‘Keser.’⁷⁹The sefirah of Keser (Crown) signifies God’s will. It is also the tenth sefirah from below to above, thus, “a hundred,” as each sefirah contains ten. (The verse continues) ‘And Twenty years.” Meaning, when it is carved into his mochin⁸⁰Mochin – the intellectual-spiritual life force. to serve God on the level of Chochmah (wisdom) and Binah (understanding),⁸¹Chochmah and Binah each include ten sefiros, hence “twenty years.” which are called gates based on the estimation of the heart.⁸²This is alluding to the passage in the Zohar (Vayeira, 103b): "Yet certainly, 'her husband is known in the gates.' (Mishlei 31:23) 'Her husband,' is the Holy One, blessed be He. He is 'known' and connected to every one according to how much a person estimates God in his heart. (The word for 'gate – sha'ar' is the same letters as the word for estimation – sha'er.) God is known in a man's heart in direct correspondence to how much he cleaves himself to God in the spirit of wisdom." For this (Chochmah) provides guidelines for fixing that which he had corrupted in its way, and this (Binah) provided guidelines to fix in other ways. And then (once it is fixed in his mind) he comes to the aspect of (the continuation of the verse), “seven years,” which are the seven middos. These are the seven lower sefiros which he uses to crown God as the Sovereign King, through love (chesed), fear (gevurah), glory (tiferet), victory (netsach) thanks (hod) and connection (yesod).”